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Sixgun Sid’s a cowboy but he isn't very good
He thinks that he’s the meanest cowboy in the neighbourhood
Once he tried to shoot the sheriff where the sheriff stood
His guns went off before he drew and now his legs are wood

First the sheriff strung him up in spite of Sixgun’s pleas
And then they cut him down for it was just a jolly wheeze
Now, ten years on, poor Sixgun has got woodworm in his knees
That’s what happens when you've got two legs made out of trees 

Once his gun snagged in his belt and shot his manhood off
And that can lead to problems when the doctor tells him, “Cough!”
Because of what he shot off he is ‘droopy’… so to speak
He's heard that there’s a pharmacy way down in Milton Creek

The desert trail was harsh and he made progress like a snail
He stuck a notice on his leg and used a rusty nail
The sign said “Milton Creek” and “I repent of all my ills”
“For all I want from life right now is one of them blue pills.”

There came along a stagecoach and a lady called his name,
“Hey, Sixgun, if it’s pills you want then, frankly, that’s a shame
I wouldn't waste your time or effort just to hitch a ride
And no blue pill will help you now, no matter how you tried.”

He shrugged and said, “Hey, Lady, you’re as pretty as can be,
But I just want them pills to get these woodworm out of me
But, I shall thank you for the ride and I shall thank you good…
These legs of mine ain't all I’ve got that’s made of solid wood.”

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