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How can I bare to you my heart and soul--
So many years have passed since we last spoke;
Between us a thick wall of ice has grown,
Now we can't even say "Hi" or "Hello."

I don't know if I was just too young then,
But you seemed cruel and devoid of love
For me, and my siblings, and that was why
You hurt and shamed us in various ways.

I ran away from home so many times
To shun your heavy hand and painful words:
I slept, alone, in parks, under the stars;
The cold hard earth was more endurable.

We are both older now--you more than I;
And I have a family of my own.
As neighbors, we see each other daily;
Wish I could smile at you, show you I care.

But I can't. Now I can't stop from crying
At the pain of many words unspoken,
Questions I would like to be enlightened,
Like, "Do you rue the way you treated us?"

I would like to say I love you, Mother,
Though never did I hear the same from you.
Even so I don't have the voice to say
Something you yourself did not teach me to.

Yeah, let me cry silently, secretly,
In my most private moments and lament
This chasm of much unexpressed love and hate:
Just know, Mother--I grieve for you and me.

April 16, 2023

Letter to My Mother Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Anoucheka Gangabissoon

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