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Scrounging for boogers wrought my damn nostrils nearly to bust 

My humblest apology if the following account
doth gross thee out forlorn childhood of mine 
found further ostracization of me tantamount
being shipped off to  a leprosarium.

As a chronic gold digger in early grade school, 
specifically within nasal passages, I excelled at 
locating awesome gooey gems. The pinky seemed 
most opportune for button nose of mine as most 
convenient handy implement to mine for juicy 
succulent wads of yuck. Early academic ex pear
re: ants helped refine delicate art of reaching 
pitch perfect snot. This individual craft essentially 
entails extensive dexterity in conjunction with 
recognizing ideal picking time. If one plunges 

the little finger prematurely, nothing but a glob 
of gook will dribble out. Best to wait until rock 
hard sensation felt when applying pressure to 
either nostril. The consistency of rock candy the 
best analogy for this other than tasteful habit 
instinctively learned when being housed in the 
womb. Upon birth one or more phalanges often 
solidly locked where mucus generated. This 
common medical condition frequently requires 
delicate intervention (usually minor surgery) 

to separate glued gummy intertwined proboscis 
with fleshy mitts. As a natural born miner for 
the most moist and choice septum byproduct, 
this man as one gangly whipper snapper mastered 
the art of sifting thru the sinus cavity to extricate 
boulder sized buggies wrote the book on this 
ole factory chews. Unlike many other young 
children who fancied this fun hunt for crusty 
crab cakes like formations as delectable treats, 
this grown man chose to paste them on under

side of his desk. No particular strategy for affix
sing goop upon the underneath section of old 
fashion unit (whereby the top opened up and 
provided a dish like formation to store materials) 
motivated this daily cultivating for ripe buggies. 
Within very few months, the front most section 
became quite thick with wads of buggies that 
quickly hardened into scaly coating displeasing 
even to my high tolerance for gross. Since no 
preliminary measure took place to map out 

where to place the collection of daily glob, 
inevitable contact took place with aging dried 
buggies that felt like molting shells of insects. 
Nightmares eventually took place incorporating 
this scary goblin like creature (usually dripping
lugi with mossy slime), which sought out his 
insatiable hunger for buggies. In these dreams, 
I tended to be honored with razor sharp fangs 
and dagger type fingernails. The latter came 
in particular service to probe my pinocchio-

sized smeller with amazing ease to scrape 
practically to the brain (and perhaps some 
grey matter did get unintentionally removed) 
to appease the buggy monster. Soon after wake
king up in a start from this nightmare (when 
outsize still pitchblack), a blurry image seemed 
to dart thru away leaving soggy footprints 
closely resembling phlegm!
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