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[My recent poem ‘The Dimly Lit House’ received a
Comment from Charles Messina that it could be a Tom and 
Jerry episode… what can I say? Something went ‘Ping!’]

                       *

Milton Creek’s mayor has acquired a cat
The mayor’s name is Tom and he’s called his cat that
While Deputy Terry at home in his house
Has given his name to his resident mouse
He stuck with that name for a very short spell
But soon modified Terry’s name to El Tel

It wasn’t too long before cat and mouse met
To become the town’s most mortal enemies yet
They’d chase hell for leather as one might have thought
But El Tel was quick and he rarely got caught

That evening was lit by a very full moon
And Tom ambushed El Tel outside the saloon
Under the swing doors and kicking up dust
Two seconds later the hinges were bust

El Tel, the mouse had sped in from the street
And come to a halt with a screeching of feet
Hot on his tail Tom did not stop at all
At least not until he crashed into a wall

To the rear of the bar (it was there for safe keeping)
Milton’s old shotgun had blocked El Tel’s creeping
He hid in the barrel so wouldn’t get caught
A great mouse idea, at least that’s what he thought

There had been two pistols but shotguns are bigger
So El Tel was safe… until Tom pulled the trigger
Kaboom! Should have made a mouse-splat on the wall
But the wide open window meant no splat at all

El Tel spread his arms and began flapping them
And then he shot through the doors of the Big M

David, the ranger, said, “Gimme a break.”
As El Tel crashed down on his well seasoned steak
But El Tel was wily and strong for a mouse
And made his escape with that large porterhouse

With Tom at his heels, El Tel squealed his appeals
“Meet me in ten by the old stagecoach wheels,
This steak is so massive, there’s plenty to share,
I’ll share it with you if you just meet me there.”

El Tel ran straight to that planned rendezvous
A half empty jar meant he knew what to do
He wiped himself down with the dark sticky paste
And wolfed down the steak, not a scrap did he waste 

And when Tom arrived El Tel said, “You’re too late,
That’s the best steak that I’ve eaten to date.”
Tom grabbed El Tel, “I shall eat you instead,
What a shame I haven’t got any bread.”

El Tel then found himself on Tom-cat’s tongue
And gazed at the teeth he was sitting among
Tom simply grinned as he shut his mouth tight
Then spat El Tel out and cried, “Garrrhhhhh… MARMITE!”

El Tel just laughed and said, “You can’t eat me,
Your name might be Tom, but you'll never be he.
You’ve got all the brains of an old sewer rat
Which sounds about right for a scrawny old cat.”

Tom snarled, “I’m gonna take one for the town.”
With one gulp he swallowed that sneaky mouse down
Inside Tom’s tummy El Tel found it funny
His mouse disposition was suddenly sunny

At least in Tom’s tummy there’s no need to feed it
Though strangely El Tel hadn’t known he would need it
So El Tel was able to relax and give
Tom-cat a direct dose of laxative

At first there was silence and El Tel was worried
But deep down he knew that some things can’t be hurried
And then with a rumble, a gurgle, a flutter
Tom rubbed his belly and started to stutter

“Does Milton Creek have a cat litter tray?
I don’t often bother but need one today?”

Then El Tel shot out like a cork from a bottle
Hit the saloon like a steam train - full throttle
The smell of cat poop really made Jenna glower
And later she trod on a mouse in her shower

So El Tel was flattened and slurped down the drain
But no cartoon creature can ever feel pain
Tom scooped him out where the drains met the creek
And El Tel just grinned and said, “Same time next week?”
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