Email Poem

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Personal Note:

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Poem

if you could last a day inside the body of 
the lovesick-shell of a human 
i turn into when i'm in love
i would applaud you

allow me to show you a preview first:

as one might think 
loving someone and being in love are 
two vastly different experiences 
whereas 
no matter how hard i try to avoid it
and no matter what outer influence tries to intervene 
once my heart decides it loves a person
much to my demise and almost involuntarily 
i will love you until my chest plate cracks
and shatters
and my heart is 
hopelessly, yet hopefully
crawling towards you 

if you were born into the hurricane
you learn to chase them 
you learn to put yourself inside the eye,
because you’re strong enough to withstand it and you know it
you’re confused between boredom and peace so you opt for danger instead
because you don’t know how to love outside of the whirlwind 
because what else do you know? 

stuck in a loop of coming up with scenarios of what the future might hold.
coming up with an imaginary child that you love with your beating heart 
thinking about how absolutely gut wrenching it would feel to watch her 
feel and think and hurt
the way you are right now 

baby doesn’t deserve that 
you don’t deserve that 
so why would you have baby in a situation with somebody that makes you feel like 
you're standing in the eye of a hurricane? 

because there was once sunlight 
and there was once peace 
and there will be again soon. 

right?

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