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Welcome to My Shopping Plaza Reserved purely for the best, Entry initially is only by passing Our Received Pronunciation Test, Closely followed by meeting Our test of personal wealth. (No well spoken impoverished Slipping in by stealth.) When it comes to shortlisting I’m afraid you’ll be needing More than adequate proof of Good blood and good breeding. Be assured everything we sell Is the epitome of nice You’ve evaded our selection if You have to ask the price. We’ve taken every precaution to Ensure the elite can enjoy An afternoon of leisured shopping Away from the common Hoi Poloi. We d no bias again the lower orders Most of them behave quite well And, to be strictly honest only A minority of them actually smell. The working class in fact do have Their place and their use Even if they do at times require Protection from our abuse. Oh, God’s still in his Heaven and His work is more than complete When affording privilege and style To that deserving wealthy elite. There’s nothing wrong with equality In fact I’ll give it a toast So long as they accept that some Are more equal than the most. Once your membership is accepted All our facilities are free On receipt of course, of our modest Annual renewal Fee. We do ask members to accept That if they bring a guest They too are expected to pass Our modest membership test Welcome to my Shopping Plaza Safe in the knowledge that’s it’s true It’s designed for the convenience of That deserving minority just like you.
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