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I’m glad my eyelids are silent so you cant hear me watching you. Nights like this are so dark and quiet, you’d think you could hear a tear drop.  Obviously not.  You must feel my pulse racing though, if feels like my heart bouncing off the mattress.  I think it’s shaking the bed 

But no, there you lay peaceful and serene.  All I can hear is your carefree, steady breathing.  Right now, you don’t have a worry in the world.  But you really never do.

Everything is so easy for you, just like always.  You’re so cool, it sickens me. Your hi quality commercial of peace and serenity.  Web of lies.  Happy loving lover.  Liar

And everyone loves you don’t they?  They all love you.  You take them all from me.  You give them what I’m supposed to have.  Then I look ridiculous.  I’m always the odd one out.

It’s not fair that I’m cleaning up another of your messes.  I just wanted to know what it felt like.  I have needs too.  I didnt know it would cost me my soul.  You said I could trust you.  I needed you to make me whole.  Not tear me right in half.  I guess trust was conditional.

But what you don’t know, is that I’m staring at you.  I am watching your chest rise and fall, undisrupted.  I’m allowing this peaceful serenity to continue, and what a perfect metaphor.  You’re heart is keeping perfect rhythm like a trusty drummer boy, because of me.

I know what you’ve been thinking.  About me, about you, about changes.  Hypocrite.  I know what you’re up to.  I’ve been watching you for months.  You’ve covered your tracks well, haven’t you? You probably think I’ve found nothing.  But there’s plenty of evidence.  

It’s in your eyes.  It’s in the way you look at me now. You wear your disinterest in me like a robe.  Oh I see what’s going on, with them.  You leave me out, then expect me to calm down.  You’re the reason I get so upset.  It’s your fault we lost our friends, not mine.

Power feels disgusting.  And retributive…
…And it’s about to shift.  Absolutely.  

My thoughts are so loud.  Bad.  I could destroy you 10 different ways.  Or, I could forgive you…again.  Or I could lay in wait until the perfect time, and let you endure.

I think I can hear the neighbors clock ticking.  This room is so quiet and dark.  It seems almost impossible you cant hear all my crowded thoughts. 

Maybe that’s justice
Maybe I’m a little deceitful too: surprise!
You don’t know what I have planned for you
But you should know, you’re making me do this….
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