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Poem

I shied away from the sunlight today
I lied to myself and thought it was the truth in a way
I tell myself…as my skin above my blood begin to boil rapidly in anxiety—
Toughen up, it’s all on you, bud…but, when will I be free from despondency?

Vague are your words of distress so unconditional 
They sparkle like diamonds, but they fade like fiery coal…
Insecure to the max and I don’t want to know your true colors
Impure desire and ire fire my soul again in colorful aura-like blurs

I have made my abominable mistakes
I yearn for your serenity to set me free
From despondency and hit the brakes
I feel uncanny and sensitive as always…

But, baby
Can’t you see…
I am…

Senselessly falling apart
Wishing you'd be my work of art
You are my lovely happiness
Love of mine...you are so joyous

I’m torn apart from the heart
Hold on till the end, someone told me long ago
I’m forlorn and fearful from the start
Once a secret is told, everybody knows, you know?

Left in the dark to think of all the wrong I’ve done
I’m your rainy clouds and you’re my shining sun
If only I knew for certain in full honesty
Do you love me for me possibly?

I don’t know what to do these days
I had to walk away from my selfish ways
I feel like I’m dying and crying inside
With this broken, solemn little pride

Dried up like a fall leaf in the breeze
Set my fiery spirits free and at ease
Love me like you did a long, long time
Love me when I’m in my successful prime

Please don’t leave me behind…
If you can be so kind,
Leave my mind not running dry
But wave goodbye and never ask why

But, I’ll tell you so, I’ll let you know
One more thing before I truly go —
I’m resilient and bold, 
So far better than gold

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