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Poem

I got mugged in Moenchengladbach
Straight up and down 
I got mugged in Moenchengladbach
In a back street of the town.

I’d been drinking with this bird,
Said she was an exotic dancer\
But the way she was supping
I thought she was more a chancer.
I was quite surprised when
She handbagged me to the ground
Just because I suggested 
It was time she bought a round.

She was a little upset,
Of that there was no doubt,
She toed me in the ribs
As she stormed out,
And this guy at the bar
Helped me off the floor
And normal service drinking
Resumed once more.

So we’re chatting at the bar
This young guy and me
And he told me about a place
That i just might like to see
So I’m stood outsde  
Waving my wallet in the air
Just to prove I had the money
He said we’d need there

He made a quick grab
As he smacked me on the nose
And like a scared rabbit
He’s away off on his toes.
I chased him of course.
What did he expect?
What was surprising 
Was what happened next.

He’s hiding behind a car
And he’s collapsed in tears;
I could hear his sobs 
As I drew near.
I swear I didn’t touch him,
Not even one little whack,
Just stood there and glarrd 
Until he gave my wallet back
.

And then the lesson
That had to be taught
If youre going to roll a squaddie
Don’t get caught;
So he made a contribution
Towards the next few drinks 
Not exactly voluntarily 
Now i come to think,

As I left him contemplating
His declined wealth
At least when I left him
He was in good health.
We even proposed him a toast  
With the drinks he’d bought
Hoping he’d learnt
From the lesson he’d been taught.

I got mugged in Moenchengladbach
Straight up and down 
But I made a profit from it
In a back street of the town

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