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He was big and he was tough Sort of primitive and hairy On first encounter his face Was frankly somewhat scary He could .fight and he could cuss Run a marathon without dropping And when he got his dander up Boy he really took some stopping He could swim and swim for hours Using the crawl and the dog paddle But nobody dare ever ask him why He rode his Hog side saddle He was the leader of his gang Unchallenged year by year His visage and his bearing Inspiring loyalty and fear He could quiet a room In his suit of blackest leather And he never wore head gear Regardless of the weather But he could still draw glances When he led the pack on a ride ‘cos he did look rather strange With both legs on one side He fell in love eventually Suddenly and rather hard With a biker babe he’d met In a bike wrecker’s yard She was blonde and she was pretty And boy she really caught him So much about love and life She very quickly taught him And she put her foot down quickly Insisted he start to lead the rides On his big Harley Hog With one leg either side She set about with determination To change every aspect of his life Until he finally succumbed and she Became his one and only loving wife And he put his Hog away Shaved and combed his hair And his gang suddenly felt Very unwelcome there But she couldn’t totally tame This one time Angel Hellion He rode side saddle now and then Just as an act rebellion I ran across him years later Still big but not quite so hairy But over scones and tea Didn’t seem quite so scary I asked him about his riding style Why’d he mount his Hog that way He grinned and looked evasive Made me swear not to say Then he told me his great secret Which I did find rather absurd I’d love to tell but I swore my oath And I’m a man who keeps his word
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