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Need Love?

We all need love, but how do we get it?
My Angel says:
Your heart is so hungry
And maybe it’s time, that you fed it.
Your head says:
Ha!
Can I just open my arms and receive?
Can I really trust and believe?
Or don’t I need to work very hard
To be worthy and earn it?
Or to study much more 
And someday learn it?
Hey, slow down, be quiet and listen: 
Your heart may whisper, but it knows:
If doubt starts to grow
No need to install it or let it
Take control,
Just press delete – or you can simply edit.
If shame creeps in,
Bring it out of the shadows.
And then just shred it.

Letter to a friend:
Dear M,
That new red sports car
Is fast, exciting and maybe 
Can take you far,
But your heart has become a desert
Where, except loneliness,
Nothing can grow.
Even with all your property and wealth,
You’ll still never know
The treasures inside yourself,
Or the warmth of a loving glance
And the promise of a friend,
Because you leave nothing to chance
And will never comprehend
The power of helping hands
And someone who doesn’t judge
But simply listens…
And understands.

We can always block our ears
With the latest bluetooth headphones
And get hypnotised 
By twitter or the game of thrones.
Or conceal our eyes
With cool Aviators from ray ban
And if in doubt,
Just consult the weatherman
Or an app or the cloud.

We paper over the cracks 
Of isolation and despair
And live mechanical lives
As if we’re not there. 
We cover our scars
With blankets of pure white snow,
And do all we can
So that they won’t show
And desperately hope
That nobody will suspect, or know.
But when the hot sun starts to taunt and shine
And the icy wind blows
It’s so much harder 
To pretend that we’re still fine.

The more we can feel 
The more we can heal
The pain of the past.
And if we could grasp 
That our hearts were made 
For more, than just to beat,
Or to clean blood and produce heat.
Because without vulnerability 
and loving closeness,
The future looks bleak.
And we will never be healthy 
Or fully human
And always, separate and incomplete.

My teachers say;
Love is really quite simple
and doesn’t need very much.
And if we can allow
A friendly glance, hug or a gentle touch,
Can re-awaken it in each of us, right now -
Without much drama.
But can I love myself 
When I’m blocked and still carry some armour?
Can I give and receive love
In spite of, or even with my trauma?

As I turn and look in your caring eyes
I think maybe love’s not so far away
And begin to relax and slowly realise
That maybe today, 
With your shoulder next to mine, 
This time
It’s here to stay.
And as my tears fall like cleansing rain
Washing away old beliefs,
Doubt and pain,
I start to allow the possibility
That I may be OK
Right now
Today
Somehow 
Just as I am.


Sangeet Portals July 2022
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