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Five Words of Change 

There are words that make my toes curl, my skin crawl and the hair on my arms stand straight up like taking off a polyester sweater in winter crackling with static electricity!  Humility :( Obedience :( and, aargh, Submission! :(  My mother always said I was an “independent cuse” meaning, I guess, that as an only child I lustily embraced the challenge of making my own way in the world and that I would try just about anything at least once including competitive diving off a three meter springboard or singing in front of contemporaries ready to laugh one off of the stage and into complete humiliation so deep you would never try that again!

twitchy zephyr roams
 nomad finds no quiet glen ~
  restless misty clouds 

At the same time, from the age of five sitting in the church balcony breathlessly awaiting to hear “I Know My Redeemer Liveth” on Easter Sunday morning – yes, I was five – I knew I wanted a close relationship with God – a relationship integral to my life.  To me, that meant crawling into Jesus’ lap and putting my head on his broad shoulders.  How then to juxtapose my independent streak with those repellent concepts of humility, obedience and submission?  I wrestled with them for years like Jacob wrestled with the angel.  I always walked away from those matches with a decided limp looking for a spiritual crutch UNTIL I started to study the psalms.

one lamb shivering
 on the edge of a steep climb ~
  seagulls mew surf pounds

One quiet winter afternoon God, the great Physician, repaired my limp with a Psalm that sent me down a path dancing and rejoicing with “A-ha” as my partner.  Ready to read my dance card?  You’re sure now?!!  Okay, here goes.  The Psalms understanding of lowliness meant….KNOWING YOUR NEED FOR GOD!  You have got to be kidding me I thought as I twirled into a place of refreshing resolution!  That simple!!!  I have since danced that dance over and over again.  If I know my need for God am I not automatically looking to God for the best solutions to problems and life challenges discarding my own puny attempts?  Does that not mean I see myself as “under God’s mission” – God is the loving General and I am God’s lieutenant?  Not subordinate but a cherished child entrusted with God’s mission!  Does that not mean I look to God rather than to myself seeking God’s amazing wisdom and way!  The sting of those three hated words vanished!  :) Hot Diggity and Alleluia!  The great Epiphany of my life brings divine light into my human darkness like the Star of Bethlehem always rising before me to lead each day.

single morning star
 leads new dawn to the sunrise ~
  dewy rose surprise

8-18-22
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