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My aim was spot on at close range or distant The coppers were on scene post haste The sirens were loud and extremely insistent I gazed at the guns I now faced Seven patrol cars had screeched to a halt And tyre marks blackened the floor Seven patrol cars may well have seemed nought So the cops sent about fourteen more The army arrived as the cops took their places All crouching with guns trained on me The soldiers wore camo with blackened up faces The tanks that they brought numbered three Two choppers were armed with hi-tech weaponry And hovering just overhead The super-bright spotlights that beamed down on me Would fill other felons with dread The little red dots that appeared on my vest Meant snipers had me in their sights Awaiting the order to puncture my chest So someone could read my last rights I don’t understand how they got there so fast I didn’t think I would get caught It seemed to me one of my neighbours had grassed They’re not as good friends as I thought Just then a cop with a gun in one hand And a loudhailer held in the other Addressed me like I was the scourge of our land And I would bring shame to my mother He said, ‘Just accept that we’ve thwarted your plans For that's how such villainy goes So lay that thing down and raise both your hands And then step away from the hose.’ *** [On 5 August 2022 the Isle of Wight and Hampshire (UK) had a hosepipe ban imposed upon residential water customers. There is a suggestion that neighbours should grass on their neighbours. The fine for daring to water your Zinnias is £1000.]
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