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I entered Last Chance Café feeling quite a bit leery.
How would I get my life answers in a place this dreary?
Welcome to Last Chance! The waitress said with mirth.
She wore at least eleven hundred pins on her shirt.

Two of her front teeth were missing and she walked with a limp.
On her left shoulder sat the ugliest big butted chimp.
Other patrons were yelling. One got out a gun and shot.
I expected some blood when the other guy dropped on the spot. 

The waitress yelled “Cut!” and they all began to guffaw.
You are in the right place! Stated a well-bred macaw.
I heard a huge sizzle from a skillet and saw pancakes stacked high.
This is the place to get over a death or a breakup from a mean guy.

Welcome to Last Chance! Said a young woman with blue hair.
She slid into the booth and said “you are not going anywhere.”
Two unicorns came in and began tooting up a windstorm of glitter.
I could not give up on life now; I am no kind of quitter.

Is this the place? An old farmer asked, coming in hot.
There was a bunch of laughter as he slid into a booth slot.
I had been upset, angry, annoyed, and was moping too.
But now I turned all of my attention on the girl with hair of blue.

Get over yourself! She said in a persnickety way.
You are not the end all and be all at the end of each day.
When you help others, you are actually helping yourself.
I woke when my alarm clock fell off the damned shelf.

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