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The Voice Within.

Somewhere in the depths of me,   in a place I cannot find.
    There lies the seed of longing,    for that to which I’m blind.
I feel it dwells within me   and every now and then,
    Nudges my sensitivities   and bids me,  seek again.

It comes not from the body   not a feeling or desire,
    Nor a mood   or temperament,   but it consumes like fire.
It’s power,   soft and subtle   engulfs me as a mist,
   Demanding my attention   as would a maidens kiss.

After a while the attack is gone,   though still I’m not at peace,
   For somewhere in the depths of me   that longing still exists.
For many years it has been so   I’ve always had the choice,
   To disregard material desires    and seek that gentle voice.

Is it the voice of wisdom,   am I not to understand.
   Or the dreams from eons ago   of prehistoric man?
Or does the yearning come to mock me,   staying out of reach.
   Should I surrender all   and allow solitude to teach?

It bids me. “Change your ways,   find a quiet and peaceful place.
   Cast aside the wasteful doubt  that keeps you in the race.
For time is long and life is short    when they are side by side,
   To live a lie will come to nought   at the turning of the tide”.

  But deep within  I do perceive   that the answer lay,
   Not within the books I read   or dreamings in the day.
It’s here   within the eternal soul   that joins us all as one,
   Without whose love that boundless void would not be overcome.

Still   the fire is there,   the feeling of something missed.
   'Tis a flame that can’t be smothered,   while ever I exist.
It dwells and glows   inside of me,  though just a gentle flame.
   And waits   until my searching   brings on an attack again.

And I cannot help but search   for there is barely an interlude,
   Between  the whispers of that voice,   “You’ll find me in solitude.”
My ignorance sustains me    the battle won through lack of courage,
I stay here in my comfort zone    and search the books for knowledge.

Days to weeks and weeks to months   the months turn into years,
   and still I read and procrastinate, and wrap myself in fears.
The day will come   my life will end,   and the other side,
   The answer I’ll find   and then I’ll know   we should trust our guide.
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