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I saw you …

high …
atop the promontory
spinning with manic madness
pirouettes et fouetté
lost in yourself -
in movement …
your upper back split, low
and, I swear -
feathers … peeking …
tucked under your shoulder blades
splayed and black as black
(obsidian … cespitose)
I had to strain to see your eyes
but I could … just  …
drowned in ink -
not a shard of white showing
like a mountain pool at midnite
(how I longed to swim it)
sans the salvation of stars …
or lucidity.

I was spellbound -
never had I beheld such intensity
such wild wonder …
crying, the ferocity of your
spirals flung your eyes’ oily issue outward
and whatever it struck was
turned to ruin -
the intent of your weep, a bloody acid
(how I ached to feel its burn) …

the clouds above you growled
broken here-and-there
where the moon flashed its beams
to burnish you
ocean brume below
swirling upward
as if your brutal ballet had
sway over ALL -
as if your kicking legs gave
tempo to time itself
your delirium, deign to greet the gods …
(or destroy them) …
each whirl made the surf beneath
you more angry
turned the clouds darker
the moon, more harsh and red
each snap of your foot made
you harder to see
the blur of your body like thin tapestry
flapping in a gale …
(how I wished it wrap me) …

I wanted you …
more than I’d ever wanted
anyone or any thing …
more than starvation
more than unsated thirst
and the more ferocious your dance
the deeper my core burned for
the feel of your flesh …
the more intense your spins
the angrier the surf and
the louder it’s roar -
‘til it reached a level so cacophonous
that I had to cover my ears …
yet my bones still rattled - my
marrow melting with the
motion of your twirls
now nothing but a blur of color -
a mad mashup of dazzling kinetics
with no semblance left of
limbs, torso or body -
no hint at all of a shape, human
(how I craved that chaos) …

and when I was sure my
mind and ears and eyes could
take no more -
when I felt myself losing consciousness -
reality slipping into the mists …
it all … STOPPED …
your dance
the roar
the clouds
the surf …
everything …
calm, peaceful, smooth as glass
from a rage of incomparable fury and force
to a heavenly stillness
in but a moment …
clouds gone -
sea as smooth as satin
and a soft cornflower moon
painting all with its tender bloom
(how I melted, meandering) …

slowly, by grace
my senses were returning
and when my aching eyes could
finally focus, I saw that you …
were GONE …
and my breath followed …
stunned, I looked immediately to
the rocky trail that led from
the ledges, down
scanning its entire snaking length -
but … nothing …
I searched the water’s mirror surface
then walked to the edge and
peered intently into the depths -
not a thing … anywhere …
I bent my ears to the quietude for
a sound of you -
ANY sound …
but … complete silence …
hurriedly, I climbed the stony path
up to the promontory
legs racing, heart racing … mind racing
thinking that it all MUST have
been a crazy dream -
that your dance, the storm, that NIGHT -
was something I would soon
be waking from …
but … I never awoke
it was no dream
and when I finally reached the top
of the bluff, gasping
creeping toward its edge
(terrified of what I wouldn’t find)
all that remained there …
was the pink ribbon from your hair -
the ribbon I had given you in
youth - the very last time we had
seen each other
all those many years ago
when, as teens, we had found love -
love and passion, pure
and the callow merging of flesh -
here … on these very sands …
where I had now found you
AND lost you …

all over again.
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