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[For those of you unfamiliar with the Ice Cream Gran saga,
Ice Cream Gran or Turbo Gran is a crime fighting granny.
Guess what she drives…..]

               ****

Ice Cream Gran, in her ice cream van
Turned on her cheerful tune
Today she’s free to serve ice cream…
No crime this afternoon

Her new Black Forest ice cream
Which would normally have cherries
Is now her new best seller
Since she changed them for strawberries

A lady, large and very brash
Said, ‘Large with chocolate chips,
not in a cone but in a dish,
those cones sit on my hips.’

Her snottty son who seemed quite young
Said, ‘Give me ice cream now!’
He then got let down by his tongue
which said, ‘You daft old cow.’

‘Of course, young man,’ said Ice cream Gran
‘Is chocolate sauce all right?’
He grabbed the cone and wolfed it down
And whimpered, ‘Gaaaaarrrrhhh…. Marmite!

But when her secret phone announced
That crime was now occurring
Gran said you’d best be on your way
There’s crime to be deterring 

So Turbo Gran sped up the street
Her turbo van high-tailing
Its sirens like that rude young man
We’re positively wailing




22 June 2022
Contest: Ice Cream Poetry
Sponsor: Julia Ward

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