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Recurrent sneezing fit courtesy freshly mowed grass

circa June 20th, 2022
prompted me to stutter 
self addressed rapid fire gesundheit
nsync with, spluttering
“I don't have any allergies!”

An infinitesimal slight speck tickled 
nostril follicle – activated via an itty 
bitty, nitty gritty dirt band noah bigger 
than a mole luck yule set in motion a 
chain reaction, whence mine sensitive 
proboscis honker (wheeze - hilly little 
bridged fine tuned pug nose aroma 
sensor), got unexpectedly in gauged 
(in holy matt trim mo’ knee) to achew, 
and eschew pledging troth (in favor of 
hanky-panky) found this chap feeling 

phlegmatic because an endless string 
of faux allergic emanations, which 
upon subsiding left me throat rather 
raspy and voice some octaves deeper 
akin to a coterie of celebrated jumping 
frogs from Calaveras County, California 
took residence and refused leaving 
stranglehold upon math rote upon 
awakening from a hard day’s journey 
into night across the outer limits 
of thine twilight zone resurrected 

during slumber, yet upon awakening 
felt much refreshed and hungry enough 
to eat a horse – nee – make that forced 
whore – gulped down within a hoof 
n hour and now recount how back in 
the day when zooming thru the Lilies 
of the Valley (whooshing mass elf tubby 
an aeroplane) frequent bouts with uber 
twittering snapchatting sinus attacks 
besieged crinkled, doppelganger expeller 
for germs hunting with his clean X 

instantaneously for nasal passages 
to enter surreptitiously the fecund 
effluvia dripping, oozing, and  seeping 
clear liquid as wintry cold air looses 
droplets from out a near frozen nose, 
which bloke knows not why frigid blast 
stimulates gallimaufry of sniffling 
to spurt into a volume of one after 
another gesundheit donning, snorting 
trumpeting unwittingly confusing 
Canadian geese, who misconstrue 

the honking from midway centered 
facial organ, which angry birds
in tandem with flock of Seagulls 
quite perturbed to espy one curmudgeon 
chap clapping hands over (what feels 
like Smashing Pumpkins on face -
resembling a Puddle of Mudd) 
in an effort to stifle subsequent gummy 
emissions, which residue expectorated 
with heave hoe shove 
schnoz el tov blowing into snot-rag. 

This thick mucous essentially 
the defense mechanism of a healthy 
body electric to restore biz zee nose 
as usual, which for this mild mannered 
liberal leitmotif from the chronicle of one 
matted nattering nabob of nativity attests 
congested mob functioning like 
a well lubricated machine, yet 
for the life of me, nary a handy dandy 
blues clues evident as per, how 
the human entity empowered 
to steamroll over 
any reasonably annoying bugaboo. 

Ah, now if only a similar innate 
defense mechanism arose 
within the mental health, 
that would be a supreme testament 
to thine atheistic tasty mints of miracles 
minus the attendant pharmacopeia 
of this, that or some other drug to aright 
skewered psyche (of this contemplative, 
emotive and intuitive literate outlier), 
whose sixty three plus eight shades 

of gray matter went awry and skewed 
toward tipping point (to cope with ordinary 
cares and concerns of an uncertain 
whirled wide web) found the bulk 
of his life riddled with a joe king, 
gun slinging tub back ha chew win, 
bard arse wordsmith, 
who doth newt like to utter any 
cryptographic crossword 
toward friend or foe.
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