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The 2nd reason the eldest remained exempt is someone had to see him as something other than a monster.To testify to his humanity.The remainder sans the baby could not as their own humanity was so completely ignored . He became her champion and she the favored child."Just be obedient ",she would say when asked to use her pull to intervene, refusing to see it for what it was.And speaking of intervention why did our mother not step forward ?theory on this is the unspoken contract between she and our father.He turned a blind eye to her drinking and she his bottomless rage. The youngest or as she is once and forever known as ,the baby,was spared because she was included in the deal they struck.She would pour everything into this one and in the process left her ill prepared for life.When I look at the woman she is and consider who she was designed to be I know she paid her own price for the raising she received. She has a sweetness the others lack but in the process forfeited strength and will that peaks out at intervals.She was never allowed to come into her own and this is a gift that only herself and God can inspire now. This to my thinking was the worst part of the whole mess that control for whatever reason could be employed selectively,as the rest were free ranged Upon. How bad was it?Imagine standing in line watching Your brother beat till he faints from lack of oxygen only to watch as the next victim is grabbed a hold of .Watching in abject horror and terror as your turn at dance approaches.He wielded that thin narrow belt like a samurai.Looking into his eyes above those clenched teeth noting the lights were On but no one was home ,not to receive you anyway. You know I think I have it all sorted Out and filed away and then out of the blue it returns in all its magnificent monstrosity. O.k. time to change gears.The town chronicles. We moved to town on my 7th birthday.My maternal grandfather giving my mother,his only daughter ,a 5000 dollar down payment on the second oldest house in town. I remember the ride packed into the car snow blowing up from a hole in the floor board onto the blanket draped over our legs for warmth.The slow crawling drive in a serious snow. When we arrived it looked like a palace to me.It was warm and each room had a simple hanging light fixture that to this untrained eye were chandeliers. Time for another explanation as to the golden boy.2nd born 1st male.Buddy.He was 18 at the time.Later
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