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Responding to an ad I’d found on Market-Place last month, describing what the seller claimed to be a - “true antique”, I queried - ‘Have you sold this yet?’, nervously suspecting - being the gorgeous fixture had been listed for a week - That I’d receive an answer saying, “Sorry, it’s been sold!” But when the guy responded with a number I could call, I promptly called to ask him for the chandelier’s dimensions...asking for its measurements...how long - how wide - how tall. Despite the - single picture - was extremely small and blurry, I desperately convinced myself the light looked really nice, And - thrilled to find a fixture this fantastic, I inquired...“Including freight to Sarasota, what’s your bottom price?” “His answer - “I’m in Butte, Montana - you’re in Sarasota - and coming here to pick it up would be a 4-day drive, So I’ll reduce the price to eighteen hundred for the light, and pack it up and ship it UPS for another five.” I responded, “That sounds great, I’ll PayPal you today! So...what-da-ya think its actual year of manufacture is, And are there any missing parts?” I quizzed, with fingers crossed...hoping my ideas of ‘nice’ and ‘old’ were much like his! “I think it’s all intact,” he quipped, “it needs a little work, but things this old are always bound to need some TLC.” “I’ll get you paid immediately,” I promised, and I did - for something thousands of miles away I hadn’t gone to see! I’m sure you’ve prob’ly guessed by now - as ‘blind-buys’ often go - especially ones in which the picture furnished was this small - The so-called ‘antique chandelier’ was ten years old at most...about a third the length he’d claimed...and less than half as tall! Absolutely horrified, I tried and tried to reach him...totally blown away to see the pile of crap he’d sent... And hold him to his promise: - ‘If I wasn’t satisfied, he’d cheerfully reimburse me every penny that I’d spent’! Fin’ly, after trying a dozen times, I went berserk when a prerecorded operator broke in to explain: “This number’s not in service”...which I should have been expecting - and started snarfing migraine pills to help me ease the pain! Twenty-three-hundred smackeroos to buy a raunchy fixture commonly found at yard sales for a couple bucks, at most, It looked as though the only way I’d get my money back was loadin’ it up an’ drivin’ back and forth near - coast-to-coast! Thinkin’ it through, I realized the guy was just some scammer listing things he didn’t own and likely didn’t live Anywhere close to Butte, Montana and, as I’ve now learned - a number for a burner-phone’s the only sort they’ll give. And given he’d shipped it parcel post - the slowest way there is - I wondered where he actually lived - as quickly as it came! He’s prob’ly two blocks down from me and does this all the time, and five ‘ll get ya’ twenty-five that Jethro’s not his name! But what, to me, makes zero sense is that he actually shipped it! I’m guessing that his motive was to...you know…‘rub it in’! Unbridled desperation - like too often’s been the case - lured me into falling for a costly scam again, And there’ve been several times since then when - as a consequence - deals to buy, or sell, were scrapped...but I don’t give a damn... I’m not about to stick my neck out, finding - in the end - I’ve wound up as the victim of another f-ing scam!
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