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I crowned the write full missus "champ paean practical joker"

The following moniker “innocent prankster” 
awarded, hashtagged, and qualified wife
as trickster de jure appended 
to alluded spouse 
(then of twenty five plus years),
when she pulled a doozy ruse
upon me innocent gullibility
approximately eighteen months ago,
which aftertaste still lingers in my mouth.

Unbeknownst, the wife 
appeared unusually upbeat,
she did pretend and succeed
to give yours truly a special, 
albeit waxy wick head treat
aforementioned item alluded to purchased
at Liberty Ministry thrift store

3841 Ridge Pike
some miles further west
same road identified as Main Street
encompassing countless communities
including Collegeville, Pennsylvania 19426,
I can show you proof courtesy
printed information on pocketed receipt.

That past holiday times 
more playfulness than usual awoke,
whereby the missus appeared, 
coquettish, frisky..., especially nonchalant
pestering one garden variety 
generic husbandly bloke
(christened Matthew Scott Harris),
nearly swallowed bait 
hook, line and sinker,
yet courtesy dumb luck did not choke

would with pursed lips subsequently think
and or mouth the words okey doke
what in the name of Judas Priest
more strongly worded ejaculation, 
this token poet didst NOT evoke
by George, he a run of the mill
on the floss ordinary heavy mettle folk
thee spouse got mischief 
up her (figurative) sleeve
thespian wannabe she never quite...
her constituted stardom quite a joke.

She practiced April's fool day
(hoping nobody noticed -
particularly this aspiring paperback writer
as she looked askance)
every time she got a chance
gleefully clapping her hands
while performing an impromptu (risque) dance,
when she pulls off buzzfeeding 
twittering jumpstarting her coaxing 

beatitude procuring tom foolery to advance
hat tricks of her trade
taking Europe in general and France
darting at yours truly errant furtive glance
sketching, kickstarting, extracting character 
while minding metaphorical lance
in particular by storm think sturm and drang
madding crowds clamoring to prance
analogous unsung Juke Box hero.

The words mentioned above intended for you
dear anonymous reader to woo
allowing, enabling, and providing how I view
livingsocial linkedin with good n plenty true
value without a dark shadow of doubt 
poetic license taken,

these words zealously, randomly, haphazardly
scattered across screen willy nilly I spew
trying to coerce coalescence of continuity,
yet additionally trying to weave events
earlier that December 22nd  2020, I review,
whereby yours truly while waiting in a queue

assorted merchandise fifty percent off,
the spouse did avidly pursue
unbeknownst she would play a prank and outdo
pulling a doozy gag at my expense, he took netview
of utter tomfoolery, and readily admits Matthew

Scott Harris, nearly ate 
"faux chocolate soap"
finding wife in stitches, he too
did chuckle, cuz he knew
supposed treat smelled extremely fragrant
cocoa confection fortunately, I did not chew
but promptly spit out after sneezing atchew!
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