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1. This hunger artist cannot read volumes of printed material fast enough to satiate an immense appetite and unquenchable thirst to acquire learning from the millenniums gushing fount of cumulative chance revelations, (or deliberate intent to validate a premise vis a vis via private investigative research), thus unwittingly setting alight an intense inquisitiveness sans this curious George primate experiencing the equivalent of mental non fallacious figurative enthusiasm analogous to: patriotism, phototropism, priapism...), whose every waking hour, (when not tending toward the basic needs for survival as a seeming foreigner - journey ying in this helter skelter, madcap, slaphappy, whirled wide web) expended to enrich the yawping immeasurable volume mine fist size housed cerebellum buzzfeeds shrouded within skull and cross bones, a vast scope of innumerable chunks of fascinating, fortifying, and fulfilling various subject matters, that when pursued to an approximate logical conclusion yields abundant esoteric information. These sundry shiny, salutary nuggets of wisdom send a surge within this once a pawn a time white knight (holed up in his rook re:) of orgasmic sensations coursing throughout each neuron and axon of this gourmand famished for (imagine if you will) overflowing platters full of juicy, fruity, and bounty tea full volumes of incredible edible raw bits 2. (toothsome incredible mental edibles satiating faux lower and upper indentured craving most satisfactorily) with byte size tidbits of savory, tasty, ultimately vaunted mouthwatering hors d'oeuvres teasing me to such fancy feast ohm my dog amp pulley serving one godaddy gloriously heightening inexplicable joie de vivre keen longing making tongue lick lips in anticipation to partake from Smörgåsbord of expansive culinary cuisines. Though nada lick of evidence concluded that hair color plays a role, (especially plait tin ham), I chose an arbitrary hue (without arbitration, deliberation, or genuflection) hair raising experiment to be illegally blonde - courtesy of hydrogen peroxide as a last ditch effort to increase the rate my noggin can absorb page after page of sought after printed information, less to impress anybody, but more so to satisfy an incessantly voracious yen to understand, which (as a minor side effect) possibly increases the weight of thine sixty plus shades of gray cerebral matter. Thee correlation asper whether a lighter tinted non natural tone of genetically decreed follicles (sprouting within Ziegfeld Follies like tender brownian growth - thread wide spindles in the case of myself), I certainly experienced, invited, and measured quantifiable uptick in incidents involving being queried as a smart schnorrer in a city where the streets have no names) adorning straggly strands striving superiorly regaling this Tess T uber ville wondrous tourist with crackling, popping, and snapping 3. electrical charges, which (as a side note) allowed, enabled and provided a pronounced ability, whereby contents of pages got vacuumed within a blink of an eye to imbibe (without any adverse reaction of heady inebriation not jeopardizing body, mind or spirit of Brexit ting away courtesy Yankee doo dill ling confounding basic auburn zillions of tough proteins called keratin.
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