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Friday May 13th, 2022 An excerpt taken from a lengthy tome, written courtesy a favorite poet of mine. Paraskevidekatriaphobia struck within a blink, I swear yours truly never took a drink, nevertheless he witnessed and falsely accused of being a rat fink, when everything but the kitchen sink instantaneously disappeared in a wink. A quick moving flava flav lava flow quickly rapped (like a snoop doggy dog tune), swept, and twittered predominantly (this only the beginning phase of Armageddon clobbering debacle), where nature nymphs, sprites, trolls, et cetera) decked out with tartan kilted Scottish residents comprising the moral majority population within bucolic community of Harrisburg, (yes the same place name and Das Capital of Pennsylvania) before swallowing (as an itty bitty, teensy weensy hors d oeuvre), a healthy barley noticed portion of planet Earth. Faster than a speeding bullet lubricated with greased lightning, and one rather extremely uncommon phenomena, the devastating, instantaneous, and outrageous volcanic activity, (that forged the Allegheny Mountains) unexpectedly goose-stepped, doggedly catapulted back to life after a bajillion years of dormancy entombing, hotly freezing (in perpetuity), and guaranteeing, limning, and ossifying unchanging lifelong livingsocial abode of Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum at that juncture (of happy and healthy) within the space time continuum 4 after Midnight, (when Christine came down with severe bout of misery qua writer's block), and sponsored by Plexus, nexus Lexus Wilkie Buick, who guaranteed their handsomely crafted automobiles (specially designed with an app to weather fierce blistering, pelting thermal withering geologic events, sans natural catastrophes) included extra durable crushed bougainvillea (allegedly beefed chromosomes) deftly effected fortified (gluten free) genetically housed immensely jimmied, kindled, lionized magnetized numbskulls. The volcanic magma seemed to possess an uncanny intelligent, eerie ability to discriminate among bias, die hard extremist stances, liberal take on hot button controversial issues, political ultra factions, hence the eye catching, shining, yet confusing moniker "Smart Ash" soon codified, fructified, indemnified with the reputable, musical, and inestimable qua personae non gratae prodigy Sam Ash". Actually, there did seem to appear some natural likeness in violent temperament, resonant penchant, and nascent lambent Jill Saint John habiliment between former magmatic material, and protean Primate prehensile prattling Simian, who (as a sidereal stellar story teller) happens to be yours truly. Anyway, due to strict parochial Lutheran hackneyed dogma, no iota of boasting, flattering, nattering chattering allowed from this anonymous, hip po' eponymous, harmonious, industrious, innocuous, judicious, loquacious, marvelous, querulous Norwegian bachelor farmer. Ponder with scrunched furrowed brow in a serious effort to expound at large this incredulous nebulous, shape shifting (than compound an understandably mixed up notion), thus now tis a noteworthy opportunity to point out divulging the name of this scribe would immediately necessitate notification of Non-Coms, who would forcibly usher this lapsed long haired pencil neck geek. This action (not newsworthy in the least), would thus mocks nix notorious nauseating, nasty, never-ending nonsensical noodling. How sad, hence tis not wise tune hip virtual thorn in the dark side. Rather best bet would be to buffer end this figurative bud dee whiz encased within corpus callosum. Though identity guard disallows revealing namesake of this nincompoop, the most information told about this little known author can be reduced to one word. That abridged version would deprive any subsequent reader a brave attempt to interpret convoluted spaghetti writing. Despite ambition to bob and weave continuously (creating a conglomeration of ever increasing virtual loose threads), one final capstone concept begs to be conveyed. Thine ziggurat severely atilt rivaled (sorry tubby cheesy), but the Leaning Tower of Pisa! Asinine argot acquired bilious berserk baggage, which stakes no claim nsync with longevity, magnanimity, notoriety, et cetera. A series of unfortunate literary, lickity-split liberty unintentionally left a prose ache wake. An honest to dogness attempt bedeviled crux displaying evident fiasco. Slinky circumstances, sans synonymity, synergistically, and synchronicity yielded a feeble effort at fame. Birth thing a complex mental edifice begot aborted aspiration foray zing grateful, mindful, and respectful characterization.
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