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After serving six long hard years at Methacton State penitentiary... as mini reunion number XLV fast approaches Saturday, April 30th, 7:00 pm until 10:00 pm at The Trappe Tavern, 416 West Main Street, Trappe, PA 19426 regarding graduating alma mater brought to forefront of my awareness, though yours truly, one generic beetle browed fool on the hill, and paperback writer wannabe will not attend haint gonna rile nor roil ghosts from yesterday, when all my troubles upon cusp of rock and rolling existential helter skelter prevailed across universe of mine. Although heavily steeped with fiction trace amounts of factual essence underlies the following account. I spent remaining years of mein kampf in quasi penal solitude under strict surveillance of jail wardens Boyce and Harriet Harris both parochial parents of mine long since passed away. While comfortably and numbly housed at 324 Level Road, (an offsite facility linked with semi progressive incarceration modus operandi) since razed to make room for vinyl city, yours truly shunted from one to another institution, albeit of higher learning, which did nothing to alleviate (their) constant harping about Marxist slapstick brotherhood regarding "dictatorship of the proletariat". I lacked fortitude and courage to whether blistering punishment falling short, and giving little weight carrying out commanding orders approved by presidents elected and inaugurated since 1976 until 2000 respectively. While imprisoned for abandoning being filial son shirking household responsibilities such as domestic chores and property management, cuz the estate of "Glen Elm" incorporated approximately some half dozen acres, yours truly displayed passive aggressive objection, which behavior of mine considered non compliant essentially dereliction of duty found me sequestered within spacious bedroom. Aforementioned safe space offered singular identity guard against brutal assaults that actually began upon onset when I became sixteen years young and immediately expected to acquire gainful employment. No such ambition existed absolute zero degree of self confidence existed to secure a part time job (mainly on weekends), nor did this then long haired pencil necked geek, (whose grungy appearance closely resembles his younger self) who back in day made any attempt to foster effective hygiene, study habits, time management, et cetera especially completing assignments in a timely manner, hence practically failing, and getting promoted courtesy skin of his teeth, which original set of choppers replaced by snug fitting dentures crafted by well trained technicians schooled at University of Pennsylvania. Many a pitched (emotional) battle fought and attaining eighteen revolutions around the sun ultimatums (to get sent off to the Gulag Archipelago) materialized as empty threats. Corrections and legal guardian merely by dint of biological reproduction officer Boyce gave vent to his (sic) infamous midnight lectures circa ~ late 1970's until early 1990's. I dreaded every malevolent utterance when father requested he speak not about some choice topic de jure that brought a twinkle to my eye but that all to familiar monologue finding me standing like stone wall hearing, tuning out with equally predictable trademark demurely meek pose with hands crossed against chest of this then painfully easily intimidated lad despite feeling effects of utter ennui and fatigue attempted to stand tall against the tsunami verbal typhoon itching to drown out said battle creek when asked capisce? comprende? farshtayst? looked blankly at floor well nigh or pretended to stare at something extremely fascinating on the kitchen wall for he may as well asked if I understand in an unfamiliar language such as greek most likely getting successful results yammering away at common house fly possibly seething inside (p’raps equally swatted) ready to lash out into a brawl held back by fear plus in comparison to me pop – just a itty bitty pipsqueak felt onrushing of overpowering desire to collapse and cry compounded by growing urge to urinate from natural urethral call spoke nada word, nor gave hint of hearing from loathsome blather that did reek like decomposition of fetid of dead living entity that began to putrefy which offal to mine ears, tugged impetus under warm blankets to crawl for remaining time on Earth! Needles to say (er... or write) neither warring party successful though the cruel monster no doubt wanted to mash his veritable flesh and bone, thus in retrospect subsequent silence declared pyrrhic victory. Basket of deplorable (me) never befriended any classmate nor partook of extracurricular activities, hence he failed to become linkedin with peers, and would most likely revert into socially withdrawn state.
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