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Lately i have been studiously going over and delving into John Lennon's back catalogue of work And what I learned and took from it from it is this It seems as if he really suffered for his art what came easy became hard both drained him and pained him to admit That despite all the critical acclaim and false fame he himself could not escape his own crippling nagging sense of self doubt and insecurities Because to him inside his head he lived every day living with the fear of 1 day being exposed As a disappointing faud by people which is the way he viewed himself As to him he is still just a boy both of his parents abandoned as a child to face the world alone And nothing he could ever seem to do could make either of them proud or garner any praise or pride at all Which is all he probably ever wanted and wished for and surely not to much to ask for but sadly never got Now upon looking back seeing him with such bravado , joyous , glee and gusto sing the word's of the song and the chorus lines to Can't buy me love I imagine in his head what he is actually thinking of is I tried my very level best and hardest But for all the money in the world I never could and still Can't buy my Mother and Father's Love And that is all that I want Yet the only thing money can't buy I may as well never been born at all A cautionary tale of just how random and unfair life can be in unequal amounts With 1 hand it can give you famous and fortune and make millions of people all over the world hero worship you And on the other hand after countless year's of being estranged and apart you finally begin to start have some sort of a relationship with your mother She ends up being run over at 44 killed by an off duty police officer who was drunk which you then later became And then to suffer the total irony and ignominy of then you yourself at the tender age of 40 Seemingly to at last find some semblance of inner happiness for the 1st time in your life preaching peace You eventually end up getting shot in the back By some random toting gunman with a Rye smile on his face
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