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Who snored the loudest was open to question
But each would deny such an insane suggestion
The phone rang just once and she opened one eye
‘Up you get, Nitro, we gotta fly.’

Nitro Cat yawned and he leapt from her lap
His eyes still half closed from his over-short nap
He looked up as Gran put her phone to her ear 
He cat-spoke ‘What now?’ as she muttered, ‘Oh dear.’

                         *

‘We’re gonna need sprout-juice and Brussels sprout mash
And flowery shirts for our long distance dash
We've rested our bones and we’re now wide awake
There’s one who must sleep… for everyone’s sake.’

With Speedy-van juiced up and Gran’s right foot down
Her Hawaiian shirt causing Nitro to frown
Nitro-Cat thought, ‘What’s a cat meant to do…
When under this cape, I’m wearing one too!’

Speedy-Van launched itself into the skies
For miles in their thousands, Speedy-Van flies
Nitro-Cat thought there’d be new kinds of bother
For when they took off, Granny practiced her hover

Suddenly Turbo Gran told him, ‘We’re here
That smoke and that grumbling are from Kilauea
There seems an acceptance that it’s gonna blow
But Mr McGarrett knows not what we know

The mount spat out lava, which surely would fry
Any buffoon who might be in the sky
But Gran had her mission and though it seemed rash
Gran switched to ‘HOVER’ on Speedy-Van’s dash

A groan like an Ogre shook both earth and sky
‘Oh well,’ said Gran, ‘No time to be shy.’
She opened her door and stared into the crater
And, grabbing her zimmer, she said, ‘See you later.’

Suddenly flames shot from all of its feet
And Gran lifted off through the door into heat
She turned in mid air and said, ‘Make sure you pour
Just as you did when we came here before.’

She grabbed a coiled hose that she’d fed through a vent
The hosepipe fed out as Gran made her descent
Inside the crater was terribly hot
She wasn’t far in when she said, ‘Hello, Spot.’

The whole mountain rumbled with one mighty roar
And lava erupted from its molten core
Gran faced a huge, dragon-like dinosaur
and asked of it, ‘Spot, is it wind like before?’

Spot whimpered, ‘Gran, you have got to me nuts
What can you do for a Dragosaur’s guts?’
She swung him the hose and said, ‘Suck like a straw
It’s juice for a badly bunged up Dragosaur

Spot sucked the hose and growled, ‘What the heck’s that?
If I wasn’t plugged I’d have pooped out a pat
But I feel a rumbling and grumbling inside
And something is moving, you’d best get outside

She threw him a wink and soared out of the crater
And somehow the rumblings seemed even greater
She sped up to Speedy and landed on board
And when all fell silent, she said, ‘Oh my Lord!’

No rumbling, no grumbling, no lava ejected
A most eerie silence that no-one expected
And Grandma said, ‘Speedy, autopilot, GO!
The Experts are right, that things gonna blow

Speedy responded to Turbo’s insistence
And stopped to observe from a fairly safe distance
A gaseous cloud shot up into the sky
An extended PAAAAAARRRRP! a victorious cry

The mountain fell silent and calm and at rest
And Nitro-Cat nodded for he was impressed
But back on the ground one young man had his doubts
When Rico said, ‘Honey… are you smelling sprouts?’





[Kilauea — The world’s most active volcanic mass.

Steve McGarrett— seriously? He’s from Hawaii 5-0
and is famous for the line, ‘Book Him, Danno.’]
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