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Poem
I find it complicated
When I feel very much jaded
I find it oh so extremely hard these days
To express myself as a bard in many ways

It’s simply shameful to say the least
That I was introduced to the dark beast
It’s simply shameful to say I’m worse off tremendously
If I’m falling away on the edge of ecstatic, enigmatic negativity

You don’t listen to what I say, what I say
You talk nonchalantly all night and day
Your eyes still glisten and it does what it may
But, do you really obey or do you turn away?

Don’t know what I’m doing here
But, I’m so full of fear, my dear
I need a reason to believe in myself once more
Give me a season of growth and security to soar

My hopes are shattered into utter smithereens
Waiting for happiness in store to intervene
With my sadness to the core in my pre-teens…
For, I’m handsome in my pain left unseen

Your keen, green eyes glimmer anew
Your monstrous, disastrous love flu
Got me under your dazzling, insidious spell
Dark and sinister was my thoughts of pell-mell

I’ve been awfully misunderstood for several, mindless ages…
Never really realizing that I’ve been through so many phases
Recognizing myself in another light all over again…once again…
Wandering in the woods of my mind, ending up in your den

Since I was born,
I was so forlorn…
Wondering when is the time I grow up and find
That all the happiness inside was truly left behind

I could’ve sworn
I have been torn…
Pondering how in the world I got into this stage in life
That has brought me so much bitterness and strife

This monster is devouring all of me deep down
Maddening, distressing anxiety is my crown
And from the inside out, 
I’ve been sprawled with doubt and I’m left to roam another route (and I angrily shout)
And from the outside in,
I don’t know where to begin when I am left with this abominable sin (mercilessly from within)

I don’t know where to begin — my faith is rather paper thin —
When God forgives my sins from within and I’m His earnest kin
I find His mercy complicated, yet simply full of prudent brilliance
This jaded, pensive poet I once was but now, I find true significance
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