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In New York someone gets 
stabbed every 52 seconds! Poor bastard!

I wondered why the baseball
kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

What animal can jump higher than a house?
Any animal houses can't jump.

How long is a Chinese name.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away
but an onion a day keeps everyone away.

No matter how much you push
an envelope will always be stationary.

A picture is worth a thousand words
but takes longer to load.

Change is inevitable except from
a vending machine.

Don't judge a book by it's movie.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh!

What happens when you throw a green
rock into the red sea? It gets wet.

Always speak well of your enemies,
after all you made them.

Working in a mirror factory is something
I can see myself working.

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