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Folk purchase this celeb’s new candle It’s something my brain cannot handle ‘Smells like my v’gina’ Could give folk angina This fragrance has caused quite a scandal Inspired by a comment from a fancy friend who told me about the candle range by Gwyneth Paltrow! It only costs $75!!! Jan Allison 11/28/21 Terry Flood mailed me with this limerick and asked me to make my poem into a collaboration A power cut made us all sniff For each candle had its own whiff As one candles flares It smells of downstairs The vicar said is that you Gwyneth By Terry Flood 11/30/21 A really strange lady named Gwyn, Couldn't wait for the games to begin. Now she's stuck on one channel, Even made up a candle, So we all can now breathe her scent in. Most women have special perfumes, They lavish each time that they groom, But Gwyn likes to go natural, With her it's habitual, To clear out a room with her fumes. Written by Judy Ball Now Gwyneth loves sprouts and baked beans She also likes very tight jeans A new candle ‘flavour’ For sniffers to savour Is currently splitting her seams The full name of little Miss farting Whose body scents business is starting Well wouldn't you know it A gift for a poet For Gwyneth is Miss Paltrow Martin So candles in ‘Foo Foo’ and muck And one for her hubby, Brad Falchuk This one she said Reminds me of bed I call it aroma of Duck (typo) Written by Terry Flood The lady smells divine, iron man simply reeks After waxing off her crotch, she felt pretty sleek With that silky smooth finish Harsh odours soon diminished Try Gwyneth Paltrows candles, (no more killer queefs) Written by David Kavanagh A crotch-scented candle may fetch Nearly 80 bucks... now THAT'S a stretch! Ms Paltrow bestowed her Sublabial odor? I'm feeling like I'm Gwyn to wretch Perhaps the next product she'll sell: Shampoo with her man's armpit smell An aroma so nasty You'll need septoplasty And a Yul Brynner haircut as well Written by John Watt I have heard Gwen can get quite kinky Turned on by a scent a little stinky Use her candle don’t pump With the next one you dump Pull the finger and never a pinky By Mark Koplin SCENT OF A MAN I’ve produced a candle with Arthur Who is a professional farter Candle’s scented with fart As emitted by Art… This venture may be a non starter By Jan Allison 11/30/21/ I always admired candle light's soft glow Until my boyfriend's farts begin to blow It led to a fight That lasted all night Next time I'll wake him up using ammo It happened again while he was sleeping It smelled so bad that I started weeping The butt scent of that man Made me turn on a fan But the stench of his gas is still seeping Written By Jenna Logan I bought one of those special Gwyneth scents I should've had much better sense It smells like putrid fart, I really wasn’t too smart So, now I’ll go back to my own essence! Written by L Milton Hankins Her next range to earn her a stack Says Machismo both front and back The one she’s just lit Won’t be a big hit It’s called Eau de builders butt-crack Written by Terry Flood Two care home owners Suzanne and Randall Sold a male and female scented candle Obtained that musky scent Without owners consent Had their home shut down cos of the scandal Written by Tom Cunningham I kicked the stinker out and would you believe He sent me a ribboned gift on Christmas Eve Two candles, scented That's a bit demented But I refused to light them...I'm not that naïve. Written by Lin Lane PLEASE SOUP MAIL ME ANY POEMS TO ADD ON
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