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Limricks prompted by a comment made by someone today

It's a fact, and no longer just a rumor
Some soup people barf at toilet humor
Have you sniffed your own butt 
It stinks so keep it shut
Pessimism must be your perfumer

No one would believe that you never fart
Gas explodes from your hiney, a la carte
Your butt cheek noises smell
That truth you can't dispel
Snooty thoughts you continue to impart
  written by Jenna Logan



I suffered from Covid 19
My poopy muse sure left the scene
Now I'm back on soup
And I will write poop
Though comments are meant to demean

My farty work may be bad taste
But I wont let my wit go to waste
I give a poop warning
So please quit your scorning
And find someone else to lambaste
written by Jan Allison



So am I to gather that some of us don’t poop
That the farts we emit are unworthy of Soup
Then do not read our gassy words
If they, for you, are disgusting turds
Perhaps consider joining another poetry group.
Written by L. Milton Hankins



From my buttocks straight to your nose
When it arrives, nobody knows
You will not even see
Passed out you will be
Donning a backstabbing pose 

It's a fart that has scratched an itch 
And then released in perfect pitch 
From a stinky fart box 
To a head full of rocks 
You’re nothing more than a dull glitch 
Written by Mark Koplin



Could Brussels sprouts, be fouling Xmas air
Wasn’t me, he defiantly declares
You smelly pig, says his wife
While pointing the carving knife
At circumstantial stains upon his chair
Written by David Kavanaugh



From a friend we’ve been stabbed in the back 
We took you in right after your attack 
Then your chest filled with loot
And you gave us the boot
Pucker up and kiss both sides of my crack
       Another written by Mark Koplin



I once had a boyfriend called Ronny
Who lit his own fart: wasn’t funny
Flames flew in the air
Burning his bum hair
So Ronny ran home to his mummy
  written by Angela Tune



Toilet humor poetry, written as an ode
Creating tales of tails sitting on a commode
Some prude says it stinks
Who cares what she thinks
We all know she takes a dump to release her load
written by Lin Lane



There was a farting contest on the Soup
Along came amazing farters in-group
A Bachelor of farts
Came in top of the bards
And is now star of a touring puke troupe.


The bards of farts wanted to take revenge
On the winner whose success had no end
They gave him some grape juice
Which made his bowels loose
Caused a gas blast and poisoned those 'friends'.
                             written by Belle Bellevue


The regular do do a Poop Of The Day
Truth be told they would have it no other way
Some travel with ease
Others need a slight squeeze
Except when the squirt was brought on by a sneeze
written by John Lawless



There was an old man from South Harting 
Who simply could not stop farting. 
As he rose from his chair, 
He cried out in despair, 
“The seams of my trousers are parting!”
written by Lisle Ryder



Eating legumes was on Madame's docket,
Though she knew it might form a gas pocket
Then with one ill-timed sneeze
And the aftermath breeze
She took off like a Saturn V rocket
written by John Watt


Big smelly Billy he hailed from Zaire
And strutted around town without a care
His bowels were churning
His guts were turning
And left a foul smelling stench in the air...

The townspeople had enough of this hell
And chained around his neck a warning bell
Now when they hear him coming
They can all start a running
No more will they have to inhale his smell..
written by Tom Cunningham



Pretending to be such a prude
but you're simply someone who's rude
focus on your own
leave others alone
Your poetry comments are skewed
written by Tania Kitchin

~ If you'd like to add a limerick, soup mail.
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