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[Written last year, or perhaps the year before
But youtube was awash with parodies in a
Similar vein. Unless I didn’t look properly, I
Haven’t posted it before... so here you go...]

                    ***

I don’t want a lot for Christmas
Food is the one thing I need
I just care that it tastes pleasant
Can you eat a Christmas tree
I just want ham on the bone
And fresh cream profiteroles
And some cheese that’s blue
All I want for Christmas is food

I just want hot nosh for Christmas
Food is the one thing I need
I just care that it tastes pleasant
Can you eat a Christmas tree
Make sure you don’t hang my choccies
Just above the fireplace
Sausage rolls would make me happy
Food is joy on Christmas Day
I just want ham on the bone
And fresh cream profiteroles
And some cheese that’s blue
All I want for Christmas is food baby

I won’t ask for stuff this Christmas
I can’t eat a dish of snow
I’m just gonna keep on eating
Under eating’s a no no
I want marmite crisps and salted
A Tuna and corn sandwich
I might even stay awake to
Eat a reindeer till I’m sick
’cause I drank some beer tonight
Hold on mate, my bladder’s tight
What more can I chew
Baby all I want for Christmas is food
Food

Fairy lights are shining
On the chocolates over there
And I found some chips and
Lager in my lair
And ’cause the oven’s minging
I hear microwaves dinging

Santa won’t you bring me the thing I really need
Won’t you bring peas and bacon to me

Oh I just want some nosh for Christmas
Chips is all I’m asking for
I just want to drink my gravy
Spam is right outside my door
Oh I just want to gnaw this bone
More than you could ever know
Make me chicken stew
Baby all I want for Christmas is food
All I want for Christmas is food baby
All I want for Christmas is food baby

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