Email Poem

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Dear God,
Can't watch cartoons without tearing up,
Can't look at a toy without hurting
Can't listen to a song without thinking of her,
Can't live on earth or in heaven
without her here with me!
She is my angel,
my love 
my world,
in my darkest moments she shined so bright,
always smiling even when theres no light
and now she thinks I've abanded her,
forgotten all about her love...
 I know Imesssed up 
and thats why they took her from me, 
now I must live every moment
with the mistakes that I've made.
Am I really that bad God?
Did I mess up that much,
Is she really better off with out me?
With out her mother by her side...
My heart hurts so much,
I break out in tears for no reason why,
the medication no longer helps
it no longer makes the pain go numb...
I try so hard and get no where....
Is this really how Im suppose to be living my life?
Childless and alone?
I gave it all up Lord, 
So you would return her to me....
but you still say it ain't enough...
should I just stop trying?
What else am I suppose to be doing?
I've completed their list,
work my fingers to the bone,
even begged for mercy down on my knees,
what is it going to take
for them to understand
with out her love
then I minus well forever sleep,
I still buy her things,
they build up on my dresser in my room,
maybe one day she'll finally get them,
or am I suppose to throw them away?
Not a day goes by that I don't cry for her
You see I need her,
with out her I am not whole...
without her I'll never be complete!
So why can't you grant me
this one favor,
I'll be better Lord,
I'll never take another one's love for granted.
Especially not the love of a child,
the Lords angel...
Sent to make all days fun of life and happiness...
So please dear Jesuse,
Im asking as a broken mother,
Grant me this wish,
make me whole again... 
make the hurting disappear...
Please bring my baby home
so I can hold her 
in my arms forever....
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