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Baron Von Frankenstein sent me, an invitation to the ball
To be held on Hallows Eve, at his castle in the great hall
I had nothing planned for the night so decided to go
And I thought he'd think me rude if I didn't show.

I arrived at the castle early and then rang the bell
A devilish Imp answered and said "Welcome to hell"
There was obnoxious green slime all over his front door
With giant spiders with fangs running around on the floor.

The party was in full swing in the large candlelit hall
With a giant painting of Frankenstein adorning a wall
Blood gin was flowing along with spider venom whiskey
The zombie girls were getting drunk and being quite frisky.

I glanced around the room to see who else was there
Frightening characters that would give you a nightmare
Werewolves, mummies, wolfman and Count Dracula
And that woman from the munsters, oh yes Morticia !

With zombies and a banshee who spent all night wailing
And two fresh corpses who looked like they were ailing
The Baskerville hounds too with their blood red eyes
Then a ghoul announced that Frankenstein, had a surprise.

There was a hush in the great hall ; you could hear a pin drop
Then the banshee started up and Dracula shushed her to stop
Down the hallway we all heard it, a slow thumping sound
Its something big I thought, because it was shaking the ground.

Then it appeared in the doorway and almost filled the room
And the sight of it gave me a feeling, of impending doom
The baron introduced the hideous thing, as his latest creation
A tall man like evil creature, that was a total abomination.

Morticia walked towards him because she needed a man
The thing leant down and told her his name was Herman
Then the baron announced that the thing needed a new heart
And he glanced around the room, looking for a spare part.

I tried to keep a low profile, but sadly it was too late
The baron pointed his finger at me and I awaited my fate
Two ghouls grabbed hold of me and I struggled in vain
And one put my arm up my back causing me great pain.

I had to think real fast if I was to get out of this mess
And now I was quite terrified, of that I hate to confess
The band started playing and the guests began to dance
And as they walked me along I thought this was my chance.

I pushed into the throng of dancers and like dominoes they fell
The ghouls lost their iron grip on me and I ran like hell
I reached the front door and pushed the imp to one side
Opened the door sharply and thought should I run or hide.

I quickly decided on the former and ran as fast as I could
And headed for the woodcutter's cabin on the edge of the wood
I banged on the door and his wife opened it, and said "Come inside"
And told me to go up into the loft space and in there I could hide.

In the distance I could hear the baying hounds searching for me
And I was so relieved that I'd escaped and was alive and free
The moral of this sorry tale is that if you get an invitation
Is to throw it in the fire or it will be for you, damnation.


Written 29th October 2021
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