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I heard the universal sound of aum (pronounced ohm)... while being quarantined inside our own invisible bubble Transcendent meditations while athwart oblate spheroid allow, enable, and provide deft capability deciphering snap, crackle and pop accepted as mere static to the untrained ear. Each inaudible silent cerebral deaf utterance doth ricochet across avast heavenly expanse broadcast far beyond the realm Hubble telescope detects faintest sound signaling when cosmos began. Courtesy near futile results after jogging me memory, the following individuals (unbeknownst if still alive) helped diagnose mental faculties concerning yours truly approximately comprising last two thirds of mortal male named Matthew Scott Harris; Ray McNeil OVR Counselor; Paul Sachs licensed psychologist; Elba Dorley her professional title unknown. Unsure who if any among three aforementioned named specially trained persons coined diagnosis (mine) I accepted (until now), and blithely communicate Schizoid Personality Disorder, and crafted oodles of previous poems concerning said malady. Nevertheless profound social anxiety plagued my every waking and sleeping hour, scuttling many (née countless) opportunities, whether series of unfortunate events encompassed academia or string of abysmal employment endeavors. Sequestration of self most often housed within bedroom walls (defined narrow realm), where alone within emotional wilderness (mine) branded passive aggressive lad (appellation brainchild of late mother dearest) as the world turned, he remained holed up (except for bathroom needs and meal times) inside most secure space since he exited the womb. Back in the day Kripalu Ashram Sumneytown, Pennsylvania location, which intentional community (no longer flourishing) offered peace of body, mind and spirit found writer of these words relief from parents, whose ultimatums couched decision livingsocial among macrobiotic residents. Although welcomed for brief hiatus against domestic backdrop of psychological torment and trauma (yes verbally skewered gratis those two people who helped beget their sole son), the tranquil physical environment extensive acreage incorporated wooded hillocks, which topography resembled 324 Level Road - boyhood home (an abode long since demolished to make room for vinyl city) afforded consciousness expanding sensory perception awakening. Since spiritual immersion fostered by Guru Dev (i.e. Amrat Desai), (whose reputation sabotaged, violated, and yanked off pedestal by his own stealthy appeasement unleashing hormonal secretion granting call of the wild concerning tenderloin temptation read carnal concupiscence (impossible mission to maintain celibacy) flagged above iterated transgression blatant barenaked lady espied flagrante delicto, amazingly enough, which fall from grace explains reason residents abandoned facility. Mindfulness philosophy toward existence, especially listening to structures of silence constitutes mantra that endured since familiarity learning heightened vigilance (more'n half my life time ago) experiencing honing sensation with laser like focus that buffet five senses.
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