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The first expanse we crossed was called Delinquent Sea. We trolled its murky depths with dreams of piracy. Though landing swag with no regret, Contentment slithered through our net. We squandered all our plundered booty wantonly. The next gulf we traversed was Inconsistent Sea. An open-ended course with no contingency. We took the long way ‘round the Horn And spent the whole time watching porn, Distracted by the hum of its monotony. We thought to change our course, but found Complacent Sea; Its waters smooth as glass, with less transparency. Though there was time to come about, We’d let the warranty run out, Our rudder swinging on the sternpost uselessly. When next we hit the swells of deep Despondent Sea We wallowed in despair of ever breaking free. But then the lookout cried, Avast! As Noah’s Ark went drifting past; We followed in the stink of its menagerie. We strained against the currents of Dependent Sea. Twas not the shortcut home that it appeared to be. The mate was verging on despair. He sensed rebellion in the air; His ex-wife in the focs’l plotting mutiny. We shot those narrow straits and entered Luna Sea; A tempest in a teapot, no admission fee. And when we hit the rocks and cracked, The wreck absolved us of the act Of sailing in each other’s wretched company. At last I found the way to Self-sufficient Sea. I gripped the oaken oars and rowed relentlessly. The voyage may be hard and long, But it should profit from a song. Let music be in league with the conspiracy: Sailing, sailing, sailing the seven seas…
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