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For My Brother Sean,
1984 -2021

I can't say I'm mad
Though mad at you, I am.
I cant say I'm sad,
Though so very sad I am.
I drive a path everyday
That leaves me open for dead
I pleaded silently to ask you 
That which I of myself, couldn't ask.

I heard the news today
That you've been sent away.
By bad luck or by choice
Or by a lttile of both .
Those things that seem so important
When you're sober or jonesing.
But that final solution 
Of problems that walk away,
Leaves me flat lined emotionally, 
And leading you astray. 

Just one more phone call
And you take a step off the ledge.
Just a text in passing 
Removing a doubtful wedge. 

I feel you died
When I turned my head,
But from this longitude
Nothing could've been said.

I will  myself when I think
Of just one word in your ear
Would reminded you that
It's never over, it's just fear.

But you have  yourself
By not asking, as you
Took that last breath 
And realized, too late,
It was never that bad.

Are you swimming in God's love 
Or did you never say help,
I would give all 
To know you've awash in His wealth.

My God and my savior
Please forgive us our sins
And find his faults with me
And welcome him in.

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