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Poem

My cat never cared, 
was never bothered, never scared. 
Till that is, when one day, 
beside the cats litter tray, 
another bowl lay beside, 
In big letters labelled 'CYANIDE'. 

And what did my old cat do? 
Well thankfully he couldn't sue, 
for he lapped up the deadly stuff, 
and began to feel rather ruff. 
He laid down for a quick light nap, 
but this was a sadly, fatal mishap. 

Well curiosity killed the cat! 
No car, no illness, no getting fat. 
Just his solemn wish to drink something new, 
that in the end made him spew, 
across the patio doors like paint, 
our cat in life was not a saint.

We had a funeral he and I, 
a little way to say goodbye. 
For though he didn't like me so, 
death makes you fonder, I'm sure you know. 
A cheeky cat with so much sass, 
a bachelor who purred at every lass. 

Well in goes the cat, I grab a shovel, 
when out pops his face all a puzzle. 
I looked around and saw bowl two
Labelled 'ANTIFREEZE' , coloured bright blue. 
Could this be, my brain did wonder - 
how my cat survived such a blunder? 

And in a move so foul and cruel, 
my cat pushed a can of petrol fuel, 
and then with a psychotic smile, 
did scratch his claws on a nail file. 
And in a poof of smoke and spark, 
I'm left in only niknaks stark. 

He winked at me and strutted inside, 
me speechless with a torched backside. 
I started to panic, he thinks I'm to blame, 
and now my cats gone insane! 
It seems he drank both poison and cure, 
I guess I'll never know for sure. 

But now I have a homicidal cat, 
At least a feline sociopath at that. 
Who took a pillow to my head, 
when I was sound asleep in bed, 
and later still left a present, 
in my coffee, oh how unpleasant! 

So a little warning, this shall serve, 
to those of you who have the nerve, 
to not treat your cat with respect, 
you never know what might happen next. 
For in the garden I can see, 
a hole scratched out for poor, old me. 

07.31.2021
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