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“TOXIC” How damaging it is to suffer such a loss, To be home to so many jagged pieces in my chest, To unravel healing with the ignorance our love costs, To suffer the cruelest lesson in Life’s twisted game of chess. From the start, everyone around us seemed to agree right up ‘til our end, They’d call us “toxic’’ and “stubborn” which caused me to stop reaching out, All we could do was vouch for the good stuff because they could never comprehend, It was just you and I alone when the magic was made and I prayed we wouldn’t end. Honestly, neither of us really knew what we were doing, What we did know was love hit us quick and so badly we wanted it, Looking back though I can see it, the storm between us brewing, Wishing that I could’ve at least tried to shelter you when it did hit. Soon, lack of communication and doubt made us hollow, As we spiraled, we took a wrong turn and lost where we were headed, Neither of us willing to give our foolish pride a swallow, So we remained silent as we caused the damage we already regretted. We held tightly to the strings of what was once a massive braided rope, Frayed by unhealthy habits and mountains of mutual hurt, We parted ways looking for safety from the storm raging in our souls, My pillow wore your shirt and every night I dreamt it was you that I’d hold. Why is it that the only one able to stop the heartache is the one that initially broke it? Each time we’d part it was short-lived because, for me, you had become my “home”, But I was fire and you gasoline, and like children, we tried to ignore the explosions, So we’d slip right back into this cycle, willing to suffer as one, rather than risk again, being alone.
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