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"Yea thou I though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for though thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." Psalm 23:5 KJV.

On May 10, 2021 a few days after his 63rd birthday on  March 07, 2021, our middle brother died at home with only his wife present in their Shag Federal Way Apartment. Both my brother and his wife had a suicide pack involving an over dose of insulin.  

But I convinced our brother Dale, not to take his own life. Unlike our mother Eleanor, who died in an North Everett hospital June 2007, he did not want to die there. Our older sister Lynn died August 17, 2020 a few days short of her 68th birthday. She died in her own bedroom surrounded by hospice workers and the staff of her adult family home in Shoreline! I remember telling him, that she died at her home!

 "Dale, I have prayed for you that you do not take your own life, but that you let God take it for you!" Although he was in tears, he finally agreed! He also did not want to die at the hospital! Did or did not God answer our desperate pleas for help! Yes! He did because his wife wrote me a letter telling me so!

The first member of my siblings to walk through the valley of the shadow of death died on December 23, 1982 a few months after his 27th birthday on October 30, 1982.  His name was Brian, but at the age of 27 I had managed to convince him that he had no future open to him.  But not before he did himself. I found him dead upstairs in his bedroom with his prescription pills scattered on the floor! I freaked out by yelling and screaming my foolish young head off!

Fast forward to 1996 when I was walking through my valley of the shadow of death. I heard his voice telling me that he did not go to hell and that he would be waiting there for us when our time came. Go and tell both mom and Lynn!
And I did so! He wanted for me to see him, but grandfather told him no!
If he did I might never recover. And our grandfather asked God "How much longer does she have to go through this?" God answered not much longer!

The last thing I saw was our mom's dad picture in Camino wearing a suit, hat and tie! And then the lights of my sanity went out completely! I had a major nervous break down! I was taking a bath at the time! Of course thank God I am more than alright now!

Love in Christ Jesus!
Roxanne Lea Dubarry
Roxy Lea 1954/209
Roxy 1954/ October Country
July 08, 2021
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