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"Debby Downer edition"     posted 5 Jul 2021

the chill pill you took this morning      appears to have been a placebo

misery loves company      though company doesn't love misery

i saw this sign at an introvert's home      "the fewer the merrier"

"be yourself"      is just about the worst advice you can give some people

to err is human      but blaming someone else is even more human

found in a pessimist's purse:      "in case of accident, i'm not surprised"

meant to tell you I borrowed your car      the good news is: your air bag works

[humor attribution - found online, sources unknown]


"More Book Worms"     posted 12 Jul 2021

i just published a book on reverse psychology      do not buy it

i can't tell you how much I love my new blank notebook      there are no words

i wrote a book on aardvarks      in hindsight, paper would have been better

a new book: "the ups and downs of marrying darth"      by ella vader

Bismarck wrote of his car      an Otto auto autobiography

[humor attribution - last two by Edmo Snord, all others found online]


"Bits and Pieces (part I)"     posted 19 Jul 2021

Pun Ishment 
        some cattle in a satellite      would be the herd shot around the world

English Class 	
        always and never      words you should always remember never to use

Doctor Doctor 
        want to take a do-it-yourself anesthesia class?      knock yourself out

I Know, Right? 
        whenever I'm not in my right mind      my left mind gets pretty crowded

Just Sayin' 
        politicians are like Slinky's      useless, but fun to watch fall down stairs

Quote of the Week 
        my wife and i were happy for 20 glorious years      then we met  

[Quote of the Week ~ Rodney Dangerfield]
[All other humor found online ~ sources unknown]


"Bits and Pieces (part II)"     posted 26 Jul 2021

Pun Ishment	
        common pickup line for blackbirds  "have you bred any good rooks lately?"

English Class	
        writing advice:      be mindful not to carelessly split infinitives

Doctor Doctor	
        i know a doctor who specializes      in diseases of the rich

But Is It Worth It?	
        a guy once told me      he would give his right arm to be ambidextrous

Just Sayin'	
        99.9% of all lawyers      give the rest a bad name

Quote of the Week	
        whenever you step on the brake to stop      your life is in your foot's hands 

[#3 attributed to Tom Lehrer, #6 to George Carlin, all others found online, attribution unknown]
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