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BROKEN DREAM

At any time in your life, did your dream of whom
you wanted to be when you grow up came true?
Or it did not and at this time in your life you
are thinking what it could have been if you did.

My dream when I was a little girl was to be
a contemporary dancer, not a ballerina.
Contemporary dance includes interpretive
dance, lyrical dance and modern dance.

My dream of being a contemporary dancer
was so specific for I had the notion that I could
dance different styles expressively with the
belief I could emote every dance moves.
  
When I heard music, the musicality in me
came out and I always pictured myself on
the stage dancing and emoting passionately
to the rhythm and beat of the music.

In my heart and in my soul, I knew I have
a natural talent in dancing proven by always
being chosen to dance and perform in front
of big audiences in elementary and high school.

To this day, I can always recall the snap shots
I stored in my mind when I was the soloist of a
balletic number choreographed by a ballet teacher,
we performed in front of everybody in our town.

I can still picture how I floated on the stage,
twirling, turning, eyeing the three very little cans
on the stage to tip toe on them, like a bird and the
cue for the girls to catch and lift me in the air.

I knew my dream of being a professional
contemporary dancer would not materialize
for where I grew up, the focus was more on
academics, like professions in the medical field.

Rather than developing the artistic talents for
artistic careers were more expensive to pursue,
with added time consuming private lessons
and requiring transportation for rigid practices.

Broken dream at sixteen was an adversity;
but it did not break me as a person for I
already knew the unfairness in our family
realizing life moves on with ups and downs.
 
My dream was broken; but it never left me
for in my heart and in my soul I am a dancer.
Yet I did not fully develop my natural talent,
a requirement to be skilled and professional.
 
I am now in my golden years and as soon as
I retired; I picked up my broken dream and held
it back in my heart for you can fix what is broken
by adjusting or creating a nearly similar dream.

I am never too old to dream and create new
ones by reinventing and reimagining myself.
That musicality still flows in my veins, ready to
come out as soon as I hear and feel the music.

When I dance in zumba, in ball room dancing,
in dancing parties or dancing venues dancing
free style, I’m dancing in a trance, feeling free
expressing my moves with grace, authenticity.

Oh, dancing with gusto and zest shows my joy,
happiness and elation that I am told many times
by people watching me that my happiness shows
that they enjoy and are delighted watching me.

Some ask if I am a professional dancer and I
always tell them, “No; but I wish I am.  I’m
just a natural born dancer” with a chuckle
and they smile at me with their thumbs up.

My broken dream of becoming a professional
contemporary dancer that I brushed off resurfaced
after more than five decades and now it is up to
me to create a new dream as an authentic dancer.

6/29/21      A Broken Person Poetry   
                  Faraz Ajmal
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