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"Give Me Your Tired" posted 7 Jun 2021 i'd join the morning person's club except their meetings start before noon early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and beat they make clocks to tell me when to get up i need one to tell me why a bicycle cannot stand up by itself because it is two-tired my wife got tired of hearing my zodiak puns it taurus apart teen's concept of an early bird: one who wakes up at the break of noon [humor attribution - all humor found online, sources unknown] "Just Asking (part III)" posted 14 Jun 2021 wow, is that an optical illusion or am I just seeing things? why does the sun on the raisin bran cereal box wear sunglasses? why are wise men and wise guys considered opposites of each other? when styrofoam companies ship their product what do they pack it in? if swimming is so great for the figure then how do you explain whales? how does the person who drives the snowplow get to work in the morning? [humor attribution - all humor found online, sources unknown] "It's All In A Name" posted 21 Jun 2021 i visited a new dating website in Prague they call it ~ Czech Mate ~ there's a new contraceptive on the market it's called ~ i kid you not ~ my vote for the best beauty parlor name of all time ~ curl up and dye ~ good name for an ultra-conservative fashion boutique ~ clothes minded ~ maybe you shouldn't name your brand new restaurant ~ eater's digest ~ perhaps this plumbing company is worth a gamble ~flush or full house~ [humor attribution: #2 and #5 Edmo Snord, #3 and #6 are actual company names I've seen, others found online of unknown origin] "Random Brain Guano (part III)" posted 28 Jun 2021 children are hereditary if your folks had none, neither will you the best remedy for your bad memory is milk of amnesia buy your valentine a bikini it's the least you can do for her i tried making a belt out of watches it was a big waist of time my toddler kept chewing on electrical cords so I grounded him sometimes Bigfoot is confused with Sasquatch Yeti doesn't seem to mind
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