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You're a beauty, his grandmother said. You would make a terrific catch.
Sheila did not know if she wanted to be caught.
She had been doing pretty well for thirty-two years by herself.
She had a terrific family, a great job, and she owned her own home.
He was handsome and kind, but boring.
She thought it would work out though.

Are you settling? Her girlfriend asked.
She sort of was, but he was a nice guy.
She did not want to hurt his feelings,
and her parents wanted her married.
They were of the religious belief that everyone should be for some reason..

She dated him for several months; each date a little more boring than the last. But he was incredibly nice and got his feelings hurt if she said no to the next date.  He pouted too, he was great at pouting.

She ended up not hurting his feelings date after date after boring date.
Her parents were thrilled when she said “yes” at Christmas.
He had asked her in front of them, so saying “no” would be more difficult.
She resolved to go into this resigned to a life of “whatever”.
He was thrilled, laughing and kissing everyone in the room.

Her family liked him better than they had ever liked her.
He hung out with her brothers, they had all the same hobbies.
Her sisters began including her in discussions, she was “normal” now.
She thought she could get used to him, and her family adored him.
She was walking down the aisle with her beaming father when she knew….
She had been wrong. She ran off screaming, leaping toward freedom.
Her family adopted him and disowned her. Best day ever!

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