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Long in the tooth male doth recount, reflect, reimagine... his woebegone damn dental daze today May 5th, 2021 No particular rhyme nor reason garden variety indentured flunky (me) revisits his salmagundi salad days, when oral blight smote left front adult tooth, which hellacious quandary commenced when yours truly experienced broken said central incisor. Inxs of cold playing air froze natural pond, where over head Canadian geese (imitating black counting crows) did blare honking the latest goose sip loud and clear when from behind a (Georgian) bush (color of smashing pumpkins) did peek a deer alert to any danger by parking upright either one or both ear lest predator doth lurk and induce fear, while Harris Family and friends oblivious among themselves attired in wintry gear which protection from cold caused difficulty to hear necessitating cupped gloved hands to punctuate every muffled word to be but barely heard akin to talking with mouth full of custard above the quiet riotous mirth from this then gawky child nerd precariously maintaining balance on his skates heed glide like a bird such attempts made this boy didst appear quite absurd ah, if only this mind of mine did two step quick think but woe misfortune awaited across the bumpy natural rink blithely jettisoning myself hither and yon like a rolling stone going plink unaware while in camouflage pose disguised as one sneaky slippery fink that snuck up in a blink that found me squarely face down shattering left front tooth immediately discovered via tongue as private sleuth finding me in extreme agitated state forsooth as if on fire from red hot chili peppers wrought from jagged booth winning sympathy from parents, who did level best to tend distraught son who ushered playback of events with less disastrous rerun praying for an angel to grant reverse outcome brought none gut wrenching grief immediately terminated former fun damage irreversible and perfect white smile forever broke. So much of my precious existence since found me rooted with mouth ajar as sigh asper the dentin-cementum so mud dear reader (with dem perfect enameled pearly whites), aye har bar envy for those with a complete set of eight incisors, four cuspids (i.e. canines), eight bicuspids, and twelve molars (including four wisdom teeth) tabulating many hours in the car (engendering saddle sore bony tuckus) plus regarding chunk whereat, pernicious cementum funk viz distraught psyche, when muss self as a lil monk key decades after being examined by family dentist Doctor Marcus (NOT WELBY), excellent practitioner (button irate pulp pill people, especially children) hater – the grinchy, grouchy, and grumpy, whose private practice located in Levittown, Pennsylvania, and when prepubescent self underwent pertinent more explicit focused intense noninvasive procedures asper subsequent cause of speech impediment determined why air didst jump thru nostrils, (speech therapist at Henry Kline Boyer), neither thin nor plump informed parents of Lancaster Cleft Palate Clinic – fifty plus miles one direction), where chief prosthodontist (the curt Doctor Mohammad N. Mazaheri, DDS, an Iranian whose expert reputation, sans strict manner didst trump his aura, karma evincing clipped commands forceful as a vocal whump before launching into meat and potatoes of crux comprising real aim constituting modus operandi (and cresting away from details indirectly tide into main intent, nobody aye blame) for thine dental debacle quandary (managed by gumpshun, whereby eons hyperbolically toted beyond google), and despite optimistic stance wool worth anesthetized numb skull claim nascent malocclusion faintly affecting, hinting, pointing toward Periodontitis (despite diligence attending to oral hygiene frame) the manifestation of major looming crisis compromising, forgoing, instigating, et cetera loss of teeth, this (after agony in league with separate occasions twice wearing braces, concomitant extractions of wisdom and removal of crowdsourcing – close up toward the front of mouth teeth - game some microbial bacterial agent provocateurs didst maim self-acceptance, and (found thyself as a boyish twenty something weathering onset of gum recession, maxillofacial surgery, impressions, x rays galore, scaling) necessitated (score years later) urgent intervention i.e. treatment plan under auspices re storied name University of Pennsylvania Dental School to mitigate malady entailed every last tooth plucked with ease since no other recourse could tame accompanying jaw bone loss, which destabilized rootless choppers, and despite the state of the mind turning to pulp (this haint no “fiction, nor FAKE) thus I acknowledge sincere gratitude vis a vis thru poetic aire for the entire fleet of dental students, and staff that didst care, who assuaged distress, exceeding the best expertise flair which eventually warranted being fitted for dentures here bringing an exemplary end result encompassing yours truly writing in his lair after about a dozen years encompassing so many wing (bitten) angels far and near across webbed wide world to help repair chronic distress minimized now, cuz there prevailed the most blessed delight when Medicare picked up the tab now smile more willingly with artificial dental wear donning blitz end until mine last mortal year.
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