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There were tears, salty and silent Combing a path down my face In rivers of longing, hopeless and desperate Miserable and as dark as dusk’s heavy pace Never allowing a piece of light to glimmer Through the shadows of dread Darkening the depths of my spirit Soulless and soundless like the tears Clinging to my lashes, a whisper Kissing the fate of my yearning heart As it fades and falls away from The screaming inside my forlorn thoughts There were prayers, feebly prayed Self-pity painting lonely, abandoned visions Through my thirsty pores, penetrating Sounds of grace and goodness with weak stabs That remind me still of the aching shame The shadows, sullen and wan, sorrowful Sending horrific doubts and apprehension Into the light that had once been a part of me But now was easily the flicker beneath Eclipsed kindness and compassion Gasping out pain that would never be forgiven For invading my laughter, my smile With grizzled gray rainfall that taught me To listen to the sound of the shower And know that this wasn’t the tears of God The way someone once told me This was nurturing, sustenance, nourishment Sent to fill the earth with miracles My tears were briny and sweet sounding trinkets Of breathless prayers, faded faith Feelings that had left me sure I couldn’t possibly Find the beauty and joy and hope That had once been a part of me, the heart of me Gentling the worries and struggles with a promise Of light, laughter, love that would fill me up To the brink of overflowing onto a cold world Warming the flames of kindness and joy With a beautiful faith that is overflowing The pace of that blood sucking enemy Who hides within black sin and iniquity It would take prayers, deep, moving prayers, Prayers of faith, feeling and grace that lifts the spirit To whisper through my beliefs, into my sensitivities Where God could finally relieve me of the chains The pain and blazing flame of wretched anguish Coloring my heart in faded shades of gray Now, I feel a thrill and the feeling is real Light shimmers across my heart, my thoughts Beckoning me to listen to the hope drawing me in Like a long lost friend, raining peace across my soul Wisdom into my thoughts and a glow of compassion Through the depths of my spirit – joy unspeakable Shines across my life, filling the holes that once stood Empty and yawning, yearning for a sense of truth To fill up my life with kindness, faith and real love Love like this is so amazing that it is almost a song To simply speak of its hues of tangerine suns Sparkling stardust and moonbeams that brighten The world who whispers light across my life With a gentle hand, God raised me up to abide in the high That is alive in the gifts of His faith, hope and love Now, I don’t cry stinging tears – I cry joy filled tears Tears of love, light and life that lives on the inside Where God’s spirit has come to reside – eternally mine!
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