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Let's play pretend 
Pretend you are the hero and I am the damsel in depression 

You sold me a magic future you'd crafted out of fool's gold
And I fell into the shimmer 
A siren song in rough seas and
 I sang merrily we fall

What adventure novels did I neglect 
While chasing a happily ever after lie
Though you were a tragedy in your own right 

You were a rum drunk pirate 
On a pain soaked ship
And I haven't the heart to call you a villan

I should have known 
when you said you didn't read much
That you'd be the chapter I wish I could tear out 
page by page
And burn like witchcraft 
Turn your memory to smoke and ash 

The boy who would not grow up
And the girl who could not make him

I forced you to see your reflection though
Not in a rippled tide pool 
But exactly as it was
And you could not hide from yourself then

Let's pretend I'm the fairy godmother 
and I'll grant you this one year to the midnight 
Tell me
Did you think I'd ever find the courage to leave? 

Let's pretend 
You never said the things you did
And I never cried behind a steering wheel 
Trapped screaming prayers to St. Anthony 
To find the me I lost chasing you

Let's pretend 
I didn't instead find silver spoons in snowboard boots
Or empty liquor bottles in full laundry baskets
Or the patience before I lost it and transformed as though by dark magic into someone spiteful 

Let's pretend 
I never wanted to make you hurt
The way you made me hurt
And let's pretend I never tried.

Let's pretend 
That water is not vodka
And that I am not as stupid as you made me feel

Let's pretend 
Like the time you shoved me into the wall was the only time you were a rough sea to me and it was only because you were weather worn

Let's pretend 
I was in love with you 
and not the role you wrote for yourself before I found out your true character 

Let's pretend 
We aren't as complicated as we are 
And in my story you can be a sick evil pirate
And in your story I can be a vile gypsy witch
And in our story we are just sad, frustrated kids, 
In a dark love,
In over our heads,
No breadcrumbs to lead us out,
In a Grimm fairytale
Made for morals
Not happily ever after


04/22/2021
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