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Fred’s feeding his neighbour’s pet parrot,
He replaced its water with claret,
Poll dropped off her perch
Now Fred’s in the lurch
and claiming it choked on raw carrot

Big trouble is looming for Fred
As Polly is very much dead
The neighbour is Fred’s boss
He’s fuming at the loss
So Freddie retreats to his bed

Written by Jan Allison



Poll Parrot was killed by her neighbour, Fred
She fell down on her cage floor and left for dead
Poor Polly died from Fred's wine
Off the perch, she lay, supine
Fred was found guilty of avian bloodshed


WRITTEN BY JENNA LOGAN

Macaws are a noisy parrot
Prone to get drunk sipping claret
Locked in its cage
Fred could but rage
The bird was lunch for Fred's ferret

WRITTEN BY RICO LEFFANTA

A pet parrot was once fed by Fred
He gave Pol Claret then went to bed
Now drunk from the wine
Pols fall was divine
Because of Fred poor Pol is now dead

WRITTEN BY MARK KOPLIN

Fred lay in bed thinking what can I do
I've no job and my boss is gonna sue
Thought he'd lighten the mood
Cook his boss some nice food
Maybe a roast or a nice tasty stew.

Went to his boss with a tear in his eye
Saying sorry your parrot had to die
Id like to make amends
Hope that we can be friends
And served him fresh delicious parrot pie.

WRITTEN BY TOM CUNNINGHAM

Fred knows he needs to make it right
Stayed up thinking all through the night
A new pet for his boss
would remedy his loss
A new parrot will ship tonight

The parrot arrived the next day
In a box flattened all the way
Fred was afraid to look
As he grabbed it and shook
Out fell a parrot full of hay

WRITTEN BY TANIA KITCHIN

Fred was a big showoff parrot
Who imitated his owner Borat
He wore a mankini
Packed in tight his weenie
Now they call him pretty disparate

WRITTEN BY DAVID KAVANAGH


Fred's boss tucked into the pie heartily
Since losing Poll he starved himself silly
He swallowed a beak
Ate two parrot feet
Now squawks, whistles and sings a fine trilly.

The boss flew off shouting "Pretty Polly"
Fred thought he had gone right off his trolley
He put boss to bed
Boss couldn't rest, he said
“I need a perch to sleep on - you Wally.”

WRITTEN BY BELLE BELLEVUE


Fred and his boss ate the fresh parrot pie
Afterward, they felt sick and didn't know why
They took turns in the loo
It stunk; smelt like a zoo
He looked Fred in the eyes and said goodbye

WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y

So Polly ain’t talking no more
Fred left her stone dead on the floor
But life isn’t peaceful
For fate is deceitful
His neighbour just bought a macaw

Fred schemes and he hatches a plot
This parrot will not be his lot
His avian blight
Just squawks day and night
But Fred’s got a handy garrote

WRITTEN BY TERRY FLOOD

But, having killed bird number two
Fred feared that his neighbour might sue
In fear of just that
He smothered his cat
In feathers of red, green and blue

His neighbour said what a big bird
And I know this might sound absurd
Cos just now I poked it
Then I gently stroked it
And I swear the bloody thing purred

WRITTEN BY TERRY FLOOD

The parrot was clearly quite dead -
it seems that it fell on its head,
its legs in the air,
no more will it swear,
so shrugging I went off to bed...

WRITTEN BY JACK HORNE

04/08/21
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