Email Poem

Your IP Address: 216.73.216.214
Your Email Address:
To Email Address:
Subject
Personal Note:
Poem Title:
Poem
"Holy Humor"    Posted 1 Mar 2021

if you need an ark to save two of each animal      i Noah guy

creating Eve was the first known example      of splitting the Adam

fastest sinner in the Bible?       Moses broke 10 commandments at once

first tennis player in the Bible?      Joseph - he served in Pharaoh's court

loudest motorcycle?      Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land

they say that before Boaz got married      the guy was Ruthless

[humor attribution - all humor was found online, sources unknown]


"This Wonderful Workplace"    Posted 8 Mar 2021

i'm not an underachiever      my boss is an overexpecter

if you wanted it yesterday      you should have asked for it tomorrow

everyone brings joy to my office      some when they come, some when they go

i deserve Oscars       for all those times i've feigned interest in meetings

just had a 4-hour meeting      on improving productivity

working hard has never killed a single person      but why take the chance? 

[humor attribution - #6 by Edgar Bergen, all others found online, source unknown]


"Random Brain Guano, part 2"    Posted 15 Mar 2021

it's easy to buy clothing for fortune tellers      they're all mediums

Orion's belt is a huge waist of space      (silly joke - only 3 stars)

my friend fell into an upholstery machine      he's recovered now

so is it good or bad      to own a vacuum cleaner that really sucks?

when you get a run in your stocking and have no spare      you're kind of hosed

the only living producers of dragon milk      are short legged cows

[humor attribution: #1-3 found online, sources unknown; #4-6 by Edmo Snord]


"Just Asking, part 2"    Posted 22 Mar 2021

if nothing sticks to Teflon     then how does Teflon stay stuck to the pan?

why do we call them 'apartments'?     shouldn't they be called 'togetherments'?

somebody at the airport asked,      "how do I get off a non-stop flight?"

doesn't it seem rather cruel that the word "lisp"      has an "s" in it?

why do we call the time of day with super slow traffic      'rush hour'?

what would the world be like      without hypothetical situations?

[humor attribution - all humor found online, sources unknown]


"Steven Wright edition, part 2"    Posted 29 Mar 2021

i spent yesterday trying to daydream      but my mind kept wandering

everywhere is within walking distance       if you have enough spare time

if anybody here has telekinetic powers      raise my hand

experience is something you don’t get       until after you need it

when they asked George Washington for ID      did he whip out a quarter?

the check-out sign said "eight items or less"      so I changed my name to Les

at the grocery store I saw a sign that said "pet supplies"      so I did



[humor attribution - all humor courtesy of Steven Wright]
CAPTCHA Preview
Type the characters you see in the picture
Required