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How terribly awkward it so often is when ones relations are faced with seeing to the daily survival of those they most care about - young OR old - Sooner or later the day will arrive when you’re saddled with making decisions concerning the life of a person you care for…regardless if family or friend. Over and over they’ve told you, “If ever I get to the point in my life where I am unable to care for myself…that’s when I want it to end.” Often reluctant to vacate their homes, too many are left unaware that places, today, designed for the elderly, promise a comfortable life… And make up their minds to endure every hardship, in order to stay where they are, especially the married ones - desperately wanting to stay with their husband or wife. Such was the case for a friend of ours father. His wife had been gone quite a while, and, living alone for a number of years, his health had begun to decline. “What do we do,” he appealed to his sister -- them being his only two kids -- “he says he’s OK with us selling his home…but he’s planning to move into mine?” “I think he’d be better off in a nursing home - rather than living with us - but, if he insisted, I’m sure we could handle him living with Helen and me.” “He needs to be close to good medical help,” his sister replied, “don’t ya’ think? William and I are convinced that a home is the safest place father could be. “Now in a one bedroom flat, me an’ Billy are livin’ on nickels and dimes, and what we receive from the sale of the house will be needed to pay some big bills, So…we don’t have room, and he’s really been slipping the past couple months, as you know, and I’d have some trouble, no doubt, making sure he was taking his shots and his pills.” “That’s true,” said the brother, “there needs to be doctors and nurses around day and night. I noticed some bruises on Friday and asked him, “Be honest Dad…wha-did-ya’ do… slip in the shower or fall down the stairs…or - git in a brawl at the bar? The scowl he gave me wasn’t surprising….and the answer he gave - wasn’t true!” “A little too smart for his britches, he answered, ‘I think it’s meds that I’m on. Doc said, ‘Don’t worry if bruising occurs…it’s a side-affect….pay it no mind.’’ Being the son that I am I decided to check on his claim as to why -- Never before having noticed him bruising -- now I would suddenly find “A big purple blotch on his face and his wrist. I know that his meds haven’t changed. I’m tellin’ ya’, Kelly…I’m sure that he’s falling! We know that he struggles to walk. I’m sure you’ll agree - though it’s tougher than hell - since he’s no longer safe on his own - we all get together as soon as we can….‘cause it’s time that the three of us talk.” “Kelly suggested we do it that night, but rather than give him a call, afraid he might panic - she felt it was best if we took him, instead, by surprise. His smile was as bright as the sun when we got there, but dimmed when the issue was raised. And five minutes later, with everything said, we sat there with tears in our eyes. “Making Dad move was the hardest decision,” - my friend said - “that I’ve ever made. It tore us apart…but both of us felt he’d have died fairly soon had we not, And that was a chance we weren’t willing to take. We did what did out of love, And…as we expected…the home that we chose - for the only father we’ve got - “Isn’t as bad as he thought it would be. He’s actually taken up bowling! They bus him to ballgames and take him for rides, and he’s made himself dozens of friends. Yes….it was hard on us all to commit him…but what I can tell you is this: Do what you must, regardless the cost, to guarantee that - as their life ends - “They’re not alone, ‘cause - take it from me - I doubt if there’s anything worse than not having someone to talk to…to laugh with…someone who’s there when you’re sad. The trouble is…Kelly and I have no kids, and…if we should outlive our spouses…only myself - or my sister - will be there --- to do like we did for our dad!” FYI: I’ll be posting several of my AUDIO files on the soup over the next month or three, most from my 4 new AUDIO-CDs, along with many more text files from my books of verse. Because, as with most academically undisciplined poets, depending entirely on the mood I’m in at writing time, my pieces vary greatly from meaninglessly comical to meaningfully poignant, and a few are, admittedly, slightly irreverent. If you happen to enjoy “traditional verse” - and appreciate great variety, check out my website at: www.writerofbooks.com --- or Google me. After 58 years (2/15/21), of penning verse and authoring young-adult and suspense books, I’m easy to reach! I've also got a bunch of my verse posted on Youtube, and a few samples listed on Ebay...both findable by simply searching: "Mark Stellinga". Cheers, Mark
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