Login
|
Join PoetrySoup
Home
Submit Poems
Login
Sign Up
Member Home
My Poems
My Quotes
My Profile & Settings
My Inboxes
My Outboxes
Soup Mail
Contest Results/Status
Contests
Poems
Poets
Famous Poems
Famous Poets
Dictionary
Types of Poems
Quotes
Short Stories
Articles
Forum
Blogs
Poem of the Day
New Poems
Resources
Syllable Counter
Anthology
Grammar Check
Greeting Card Maker
Classifieds
Member Area
Member Home
My Profile and Settings
My Poems
My Quotes
My Short Stories
My Articles
My Comments Inboxes
My Comments Outboxes
Soup Mail
Poetry Contests
Contest Results/Status
Followers
Poems of Poets I Follow
Friend Builder
Soup Social
Poetry Forum
New/Upcoming Features
The Wall
Soup Facebook Page
Who is Online
Link to Us
Member Poems
Poems - Top 100 New
Poems - Top 100 All-Time
Poems - Best
Poems - by Topic
Poems - New (All)
Poems - New (PM)
Poems - New by Poet
Poems - Random
Poems - Read
Poems - Unread
Member Poets
Poets - Best New
Poets - New
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems Recent
Poets - Top 100 Community
Poets - Top 100 Contest
Famous Poems
Famous Poems - African American
Famous Poems - Best
Famous Poems - Classical
Famous Poems - English
Famous Poems - Haiku
Famous Poems - Love
Famous Poems - Short
Famous Poems - Top 100
Famous Poets
Famous Poets - Living
Famous Poets - Most Popular
Famous Poets - Top 100
Famous Poets - Best
Famous Poets - Women
Famous Poets - African American
Famous Poets - Beat
Famous Poets - Cinquain
Famous Poets - Classical
Famous Poets - English
Famous Poets - Haiku
Famous Poets - Hindi
Famous Poets - Jewish
Famous Poets - Love
Famous Poets - Metaphysical
Famous Poets - Modern
Famous Poets - Punjabi
Famous Poets - Romantic
Famous Poets - Spanish
Famous Poets - Suicidal
Famous Poets - Urdu
Famous Poets - War
Poetry Resources
Anagrams
Bible
Book Store
Character Counter
Cliché Finder
Poetry Clichés
Common Words
Copyright Information
Grammar
Grammar Checker
Homonym
Homophones
How to Write a Poem
Lyrics
Love Poem Generator
New Poetic Forms
Plagiarism Checker
Poetics
Poetry Art
Publishing
Random Word Generator
Spell Checker
Store
What is Good Poetry?
Word Counter
Email Poem
Your IP Address: 3.128.79.88
Your Email Address:
Required
Email Address Not Valid.
To Email Address:
Email Address Not Valid.
Required
Subject
Required
Personal Note:
Poem Title:
Poem
This is a tale of one of the orneriest dudes there ever was, and how someone much smaller, but easily more clever than he was, managed to cope with his belligerence. The Night Nasty Jack Met His Match No one knew just what to do that sultry summer evening, as things were fairly peaceful at the “One-Eyed Jack Saloon,” When, through the swinging tavern doors, a scary figure strode, and someone whispered cautiously…“That’s Nasty Jack Muldoon!” Known by reputation on the wildest side of town for being quite a scoundrel, with a mean streak unsurpassed, A badger’s disposition - and the quickness of a snake - every crazy fool who’d fought with Jack had come in last! Not exactly sober when he stumbled in that night, and just as mean and ornery as he always liked to be, As I sat there…minding my own business…all alone, he sauntered up and actually growled, while glaring down at me, “Mister…I’m a thirsty man, and I came here to drink, an’ I think you should buy ol’ Jack a big ol’ shot o’ rye! Unless, o’ course…you’d rather not become a friend o’ mine.” And then just stood there…staring at me…with his only eye! Yes…that’s right…the guy had only one hypnotic eye. The other eye was sewed up tight with little bits of thread Dangling from the socket. Man…it almost made me puke…and I was actually trembling hard when he leaned down and said, “What’s it gonna be?” Then snarled, “You wanna be my friend…or ain’t ol’ Nasty Jack Muldoon quite good enough for you?” “Sure,” I said, “you’re good enough.” Then turned and faced the bar, and did what any man with any common sense would do. “Barkeep…I would like to buy this gentleman a drink,” I said - in what I felt to be my - very bravest voice. Then noticed, as I glanced around, the crowd was thinning down…and knew without a doubt that I had made the better choice. “What ‘ll ya’ have?” the barkeep asked. And Jack would turn and say, “I’ll have a shot o’ rye. No…make that two. And make it fast.” Obediently, the barkeep hurried off to fix his drinks, and when he sat the glasses down in front of him, at last, Nasty Jack took one in either hand and dumped them down, then smiled to show me all his missing teeth and slapped my back. “Hey…you’re the kind of friend I like,” he slobbered down at me, “and now it’s time to buy another drink for Nasty Jack!” That was when the barkeep finally chose to intervene, and said, “Hey Jack… I think it’s time you bought a drink for him.” Jack exploded, “You ain’t got no call for buttin’ in! See...this here’s just a friendship kind o’ thing - ‘twixt me an’ ‘slim.’ ” “Slim,” of course, was me. I weighed a hundred forty-five when soaking wet, and stood…in boots…just under 5 foot 6! My face was rather delicate. I’d never had a fight…and only went to bars like this in hopes of meeting chicks! “What’s it gonna be,” he roared? “Are you an’ me still friends?” I saw the eye, and stuttered back, “Well, sure…of course we are. One more time,” I told the barkeep. What was I to do? I looked around to find…we were the last three in the bar! “Nasty Jack,” the barkeep snarled, “you’re getting on my nerves. You’ve chased away my customers, and now…you’re stealin’ shots. If you don’t leave right now I’m gonna call a friend of mine, who’ll knock your other eyeball out, and tie you up in knots.” Well I was more than horrified to hear him talk that way to someone who was very drunk, and known to be insane, And I was not surprised when Nasty Jack just looked at him and said, “Hey, bring it on, ‘cause, when I’m drunk…I feel no pain.” The barkeep flipped his cell phone out and calmly made a call. He said, “Hey, Carla…I could use some help here…at the club. Come on down and throw this fat, obnoxious moron out. And when you tear his arm off…you can beat him…with the stub.” Jack was so incensed that he was spitting as he screamed, “I swear, I’m gonna kill that broad the second she walks in, ‘Cause I’m the toughest fightin’ man the world has ever seen, and though I’ve lost an eye…and twenty teeth…I always win.” “You’re not going to win this time,” the barkeep smugly said. “And here she is right now,” he yelled. Jack twirled to face the door. And that’s when they were introduced…‘round seven twenty-five: A one eyed, toothless scumbag…met a 5 foot two by four! The call had been a fake one. See…this “Carla” didn’t exist. But, cleverly, the barkeep had distracted Nasty Jack Long enough to arm himself with what he’d need to use to render him unconscious…and to put him on his back! Seeing him defenseless - like some garbage on the floor - the fear I’d known subsided, so I proudly raised my glass, Then slammed that Shirley Temple down, and barked at where he lay…“You’re lucky someone else stepped in.....before I kicked your ***!” BTW: I plan to post many of my AUDIO files on the soup over the next few months, most from my 4 new AUDIO-CDs, along with many more text files from my books of verse. (Only a few CDs and books left -- 1-11-21). Because, as with most academically undisciplined poets, depending entirely on the mood I’m in at writing time, my pieces vary greatly from meaninglessly comical to meaningfully poignant, and a few are, admittedly, irreverent. If you happen to enjoy “traditional verse” - and appreciate great variety, check out my website’s at: WWW,WRITEROFBOOKS.COM --- or Google me...after 58 years of penning verse and authoring childrens and suspense books, I’m easy to reach! I've also got a bunch of my verse posted on Youtube, and a few samples listed on Ebay, both findable by simply searching: "Mark Stellinga". Cheers, Mark
CAPTCHA Preview
Type the characters you see in the picture
Required